failedatlife's Journal (Replies Welcome)

I am having some sexual fantasies right now but pictures have been supplanted by fantasies with women and I feel like soon I will fall in love with a woman and that scares me and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I am scared that I will turn out to be straight and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I did a mistake on Friday at work and I fear it will be unresolvable and I will get fired and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I am afraid I will get a heart attack and die or that since I made many mistakes at work I will get fired and my dad will get a heart attack and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I have this feeling I will die before my birthday which is in one month and I feel like I will get a heart attack tonight and die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I wanted to go to my parents tomorrow but my brother is sick so I will have to go next weekend but I am afraid meanwhile something horrible will happen like my dad having kidney failure or Trump dragging the world in a nuclear war also I am afraid I will fall in love with a woman and find out I am straight, in fact I feel like my sexuality is shifting because every time I have a fantasy with a man something tells me I hate it and it is repulsive and I fear that all that would happen despite that I write about it here.

I am afraid I will fall in love with a woman and end up straight or that my father will get kidney failure and effectively turn our lives hell or that there will be nuclear war and/or dictatorships all over the world and that all that would happen despite that I write about it here.

I feel like I will get in a car crash tomorrow and die or that I will get killed or die otherwise before my birthday and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

On Saturday my brother is coming for the birthday of his friend and I am afraid he will get in a car crash and die or die otherwise and I am afraid it will happen despite that I write about it here.

I feel like there is a big change coming to my life and that will be me realising that I am straight and falling in love with a woman and I feel like this will happen despite that I write about it here.