failedatlife's Journal (Replies Welcome)

I am afraid my father will come in the weekend or on Monday to fix the shower and I won't have time to clean the house and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I am still scared I will get a heart attack or choke on my saliva in my sleep and die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

failedatlife wrote:I am still scared I will get a heart attack or choke on my saliva in my sleep and die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

The former, if it comes out of thin air, you can do nothing about.

The second, well... if you haven't yet choked to death on saliva, pretty sure that's not going to be an issue. At least not until you're my age or older- one of the possible ways I expect to die is pneumonia from aspirating stuff, including saliva, because as I slide into my dotage, I find myself more prone to choking. But that's an old people thing and hardly a concern for you.

As far as your heart just up and quitting with no warning, you can do nothing about that, so why worry about it? If I let myself, I would worry about that, or an aneurysm. But I set such thoughts down and slowly back away from them. I may as well worry about an asteroid hitting the earth, or a plane falling down out of the sky on my house. We live in a fallen world, and $#%^ happens. There is no place that's absolutely safe, even if I dug myself a mile-deep bunker into the Earth. Ain't none of us get off this planet alive. I don't like it, I don't want it, I have to make myself not think about my mortality, otherwise life would be miserable. Some things you just have to make the conscious decision not to worry over, then practice not worrying about them. Like a muscle, you have to exercise it. You have to decide not to care about (fill in the blank).

I am afraid that if I call my parents tomorrow just for a little chat my father will want to come fix the shower on Monday and I won't have time to clean the house and that would happen despite that I write about it here.

What's wrong with the shower?

The faucet broke. They are coming and I am afraid they will look in my wardrobe and cupboards and see what mes are they because I didn't have the time to order them and they will evict me and that will happen despite that I write about it here

I was getting carried away at work on Friday and made a couple of mistakes and I fear I will get fired soon and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I am getting really pervasive thoughts we are going to go on a trip with the car with my family, we are getting in a car crash and my brother or maybe even all of us die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I am still scared that I will die from a heart attack, this time I have the feeling it's because today is Friday 13th and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I really fear I will die from a heart attack overnight or in the coming days and that will happen despite that I write about it here.