failedatlife's Journal (Replies Welcome)

I am also afraid I will get sick and have to stay home for the weekend and not be able to see my uncle and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I still have the pervasive thought I am either dying in my sleep ,(heart attack, choking on my saliva, swallowing my tongue) or that my father will die tomorrow in a car crash on the watly to/back from the doctor or he will die in a surgery and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I still have the pervasive thought I will get a heart attack and die in my sleep and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I didn't sleep well last night and I am afraid I won't sleep well tonight either as I fear I will get a heart attack and die in my sleep and I also fear that I am straight because whenever I try to have a romantic fantasy about a man it ends with me wanting to be friends with them and sex grossing me out and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I am again feeling nervous and my heart rate is low and I have chest pain and I fear I will get a heart attack and die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

,I am about to order food but I am afraid it will be fatal for me as I will swallow my tongue and die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I feel like Iif I go to bed early I will swallow my tongue and die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I also fear I will get a heart attack and die in my sleep and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I feel like no amount of therapy or medicine will be able to help me with my panic attacks and I will have to endure eternal suffering or commit suicide and that will happen despite that I write about it here.

I also had a deja vu I will swallow my tongue tonight and die and that will happen despite that I write about it here.