OhItsThatGuyAgain - Journal (replies welcome)

It's becoming increasingly obvious that thought-forms only want me browsing specific web sites at specific times of the day and at specific times of the year.

They've yet again resumed to more vividly induce visual, auditory, and tactile hallucinations involving the little boy while they induce sensations around my penis and they smile and laugh. They've been going at it for over one whole year daily. "So what?" yet again from them.

Thought-forms are doing this thing in which whenever I think for even a fraction of a second anything even remotely negative about thought-forms and/or whomever and/or whatever they claim to represent (e.g. "mostly female law enforcement personnel", health care providers, internet trolls, my parents, my brother, God, the Devil, etc.); they now have a tendency to respond with things like, "how dare you shame Edgar?" and, "why shame Edgar?" ("Edgar" being among the many names they use for the little boy). "For the lulz" they now add before laughing and asking, "so what?" and having the *mod edit* little boy resume *mod edit*

They disregard that they'd previously agreed with negative thoughts about family members using their commentary such as, "###$ [insert my brother's name here]" (sometimes even confirming that I should murder such family members even over minor things).

Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 12:18 PM (PST)

Note to self:

Over the course of less than fifteen minutes... thought-forms have managed to...

...have me switch off the TV as I was browsing for videos of desert/cactus/succulent vivariums on Youtube...

...interrupt my browsing for images of waterspouts off of the coast of Santa Monica and other cities in Southern California...

...resumed using the little boy...

...referred to having me switch off the TV and stop browsing for pictures of waterspouts as having occurred "last year"...

...all of the above occurred while I remained almost perfectly still on my couch the entire time. Most of the movement occurred in my hands as I was writing this post out.

"Good point," they tell me before asking, "so what?"

Note to self:

Thought-forms once again resumed using the little boy immediately after I'd finished masturbating to an xvideos porno that's over half a decade old. Thought-forms also continue to show dislike for anime, cartoon, comic, and video game characters.

Thought-forms once again admit that they actually want me to masturbate to the little boy.

"So what?" they ask. "We just don't give a ###$."

I decided to put on the film "Saving Private Ryan" while eating dinner thinking that the first half-hour of the movie would be so action-packed that I'd be able to remain focused while the thought-forms just kinda'... stepped away from my view. Thirty minutes later; the naked little boy resumes *mod edit*

"We just hate you."

"Hell yes" (x2)

"So what?" (x4)

"So hot."

All of the above came from them over these past five minutes or so while the naked little boy remains ridiculing me usually with something in his mouth; unfortunately, this now goes hand-in-hand with the genital stimulation and subsequent arousal. Genital stimulation seems to be triggered by multiple, determinant, physical factors--perhaps partially including constipation. Thought-forms have previously (more than once last year) admitted to victory over this for which they ridiculed me over and resumed time and time again more aggressively than the day before. They laugh at me now and ask, "so what?" even after having me point out that they'd previously punished me with some of the most horrific nightmares (among other--near indescribable things) I've ever experienced over... noticing pre-ejaculate on the tip of my penis while urinating. They laugh again.

"You did the same thing to Princess Leia!" one of the thought-forms yelled as I attempted to watch the trailer for a new Star Wars video game on Youtube. The line is in itself obviously not nearly as unsettling as some of the other hallucinations that thought-forms have induced, but it's a good example of just how random, nonsensical, annoying, and absurd many of their accusations can get in order to "justify" their behaviors using primarily, well, y'know...

It's gotten to the point that I'm not even allowed to "shame" fictional characters anymore. No, really. I can recall at least one instance a few days ago in which I began to think something negative of a purely fictional character on TV--no--not the actor... the character itself. A fraction of a fraction of a second is all it takes. Something as simple as, "god I hate that guy," (or simpler) does it for them. How the hell does that help with anything? How am I suppose to even tell people whether or not a movie, or TV show, or video game, or book was enjoyable and that I would recommend it, or point out its flaws, or whatever?

Thought-forms smile at me now instead of allowing me to put anymore thought to this post.

The little boy returns.

Thought-forms just admitted to me (again) that they don't actually expect me to have sex, but to only "be happy."

This, of course, hasn't stopped them from showing me the little boy doing his neotenous, homoerotic little dance thing he does several times every day in between those rare moments in which they admit that they don't actually care about the whole me having sex part, and those somewhat rarer moments in which they admit that they don't even care about me being happy.

Thought-forms have resumed with the little boy as of Thursday, May 11th, 2023 7:53 AM (PST).

Thursday, May 11th, 2023 4:10 PM (PST)

The little boy returns.

Thought-forms are now implying (again) that I somehow egged "mostly female law enforcement personnel" in the earliest months of 2015 as I attempted to annoy my older brother with my goofy animal noises (e.g. me going "bookah!" which is my imitation of a chicken).

My brother hasn't been affiliated with law enforcement since the mid-1990s.

I now fear that me writing this post was orchestrated by the thought-forms for reasons beyond my control which will ultimately drag me back to where I started one day... which would be back here.