OhItsThatGuyAgain - Journal (replies welcome)

Sunday, April 30th, 2023 1:45 PM (PST)

Thought-forms are telling me to go outside again. They mentioned the redheaded nurse/doctor lady from February of 2021 and the 2014 therapist a few times today. Not entirely sure why as to I'm pretty sure that my payment for my insurance has yet to go through and so I will more than likely not be able to see either woman today (even if I did still have my insurance). I hear laughter.

Thought-forms have resumed using the little boy roughly twelve hours after I've gotten out of bed this morning. Their reasoning? It continues to be over something that supposedly happened to my 2014 therapist.

In regards to the whole law enforcement thing; I've considered the possibility of involvement from law enforcement as far back as roughly in between the dates of February 26th and July 26th of the year 2015 (if not earlier). Back in 2019; the thought-forms pointed out to me that the woman my brother and I had seen at a Starbucks one morning *mod edit* sometime around February 26th of 2015 was actually working with law enforcement and has been spying on me since then. There's a number of problems with this, obviously. *mod edit* is located in an entirely different county from that of Los Angeles--which means that local law enforcement from *mod edit* county have no jurisdiction in the county that I live in (Los Angeles). This means that that woman would have had to have gone out of her way to spy on me over the course of something like four to nine years or so just to... put me through all of this to... uhm... where's all the male law enforcement who stopped and frisked me in *mod edit* 2015 and again nearly two years later in Santa Monica sometime around *mod edit* of 2017 (both times with mostly men, only one woman in mid-2015, and all Los Angeles law enforcement)?

There's also the issue about how the thought-forms pretty much started right off the bat in 2019 with the accusation that I'd done something to my 2017 therapist and that that's why the thought-forms were transmitted through hypnotic suggestion through electronics in my sleep... in 2016... several months before I'd even met my 2017 therapist... by a so-called female law enforcement officer from an entirely different city who decided to spy on me over a year (in 2015) before the thought-forms arrived (in 2016, according to them) who supposedly initially arrived over an issue with a therapist whom I would only meet a year later (in 2017)... and would first threaten to place a restraining order on me the year after that (in 2018)... a restraining order that police officers first told me about the year after that (in 2019)... a restraining order that wouldn't take full effect until the year after that (in 2020)...

So what's the thought-forms' problem with me today? My 2014 therapist.

"Nobody did this to you," one of their more "mature-sounding, masculine" voices tell me after showing me the little boy and using his voice more than once this morning (woke up at around 4:30 AM and it's currently 8:51 AM on Monday, May 1st, 2023 PST). They've also begun to sadistically smile and laugh, and ask, "so what?" before adding, "hell yes."

To a certain extent; I probably got better sleep last night than usual and should (physically) be feeling a lot better now as I also feel less constipated after having consumed four doses (30 mL per dose) of Pepto Bismol yesterday and up to three doses this morning so far. One would think that after having gotten enough sleep (7 to 9 hours), consumed breakfast, and am in the process of de-constipating that one such as myself should be feeling a lot better both physically and emotionally than I was two to three years ago--to the extent that I should most definitely should not be seeing the little boy doing his *mod edit* thing every few minutes daily over the most minor things such as if even for a split-second I happen to notice that I'm still hallucinating and before I even have the chance to say, "I've repeatedly told you thought-forms that I want you gone by the time I wake up."

Thought-forms continue to respond sadistically with such commentary as, "we're pure evil," all the while expecting me to believe that they mean well by showing me the little boy doing his thing (one of their excuses for this happens to be, "you're depressed," usually to go with the imagery of a speeding train). They smile at me as I write this part too just before asking for something like the second or third time, "so what?" They continue to also confirm that I will regret asking them to leave (which is something that they began to do almost immediately in 2019). "So what?" five or six times now. They smile.

Thought-forms continue to confirm that they intend to drive me into committing suicide before the end of the year 2025, or otherwise ensure that I remain miserable for the rest of my life by making me as spiritually miserable now for as long as possible. They continue to accuse me of "egging" internet trolls into doing this to me in late-2019 several months after I'd sold, destroyed, lent, and/or otherwise lost possession of all electronics with internet access that I happened to own (except for anything outside of my bedroom such as the living room TV which had no internet access from late-2019 to early-2021). They now decided to show me the little boy being *mod edit* and continue to claim that this is entirely my fault. They keep on repeating, "so what?" to go with, "hell yes!" (all the while blaming me for all of this).

Thought-forms resume yet again as of 11:12 AM with the little boy on the basis that I was attempting to recall something that my psychiatrist once told me at some point in between the years of 2013 and 2016. "So what?" they ask me mere seconds before I was attempting to recall how just a few minutes ago they made repeated attempts to shift blame to me using accusations involving various family members, one of whom is deceased.

Thought-forms continue to interrupt various thought-processes (e.g. such as when I plan out how to tell my mother something, or a therapist, or what to write in these posts--which they've been interrupting for several months or even years) in ways that they often claim I should feel "thankful" for, because I was apparently in such a bad mood this morning (more so than I was one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, or even fourteen years ago) that it's sufficient "excuse" for them to have them show me the little boy *mod edit* just about every time I get up to grab something to eat or drink from the kitchen or to use my bathroom--which is at least once every hour.

This implies that they believe me to be even more depressed now than I already was before they first arrived--over three years ago. Because, otherwise, why didn't they show me the little boy doing his sexual thing every few minutes daily way back in 2019?

Thought-forms are being inconsistent again. Over the course of a few hours--or sometimes even minutes; they go from encouraging having me write more posts here, to discouraging it, and back to encouraging it again. Not exactly the first time they've displayed this sort of behavior, I mean, I can recall how even in a time before I'd regained internet access in 2021; thought-forms would have me write on a notebook for hours on end (up to 25 pages or more over the course of a single day) to the point that I ended up filling out something like 30 to 40 notebooks (most of which are 70 to 200 sheets each)... each page containing up to 300 or 600 words over the course of three to four years.

"Shut the ###$ up," I often tell them.

The thought-forms nowadays often to respond with, "I can't believe you prefer Edgar Fuller." Edgar Fuller is one of their many names they've applied to the little boy (along with, "Jonathan Fuller"). The surname "Fuller" was the surname of an old high school English teacher from roughly two decades ago.

Thought-forms are once again disregarding various of my counter-arguments that they'd previously agreed with--shamelessly--still smiling and laughing, while using the little boy on and off every few minutes and having one of their "men" tell me, "we're gonna' tell you the same thing."

One counter-argument that I feel is a big one would have to be the one in regards to my 2017 therapist.

Roughly 885 to 905 days passed in between when I first met this therapist (around February 5th, 2017) and my last e-mail to her (sometime in July of 2019).

Roughly 518 to 538 days passed in between when she last e-mailed me first threatened to take legal action (around February 7th, 2018) and my last e-mail to her.

"So what?" the thought-forms continue to ask me along with various of their other typically shameless responses--once again showing how little they care about the timeframes involved and how they're pretty much relying on some sort of undefined "quota" of online posts to be carried out on my part as opposed to relying on any sort of "time limit" (based on my calculations--the thought-forms should've been completely gone sometime before or in between November of 2020 and November of 2021). This is, of course, the sort of thing that I've gone over with several times with them in the past and the sort of thing that they've often behaved "apologetically" over and should have sufficed ages ago to get them to leave... several months before they first began to use the little boy doing the oral sex thing daily for over a year. The other thought-forms continue to snicker, scoff, blame me, and ask, "so what?" rather than leaving me alone for good.

Yep.

They're still here.

...wait for it...

...are they...

...yep...
...yeah they're still here.

It's obvious that they want me to go real in-depth about, well, just about anything, everything, everyone I've ever met and even those I've never met (and then some). Why don't they just leave?

They mentioned the redheaded doctor from February 2021 earlier today. Something about her? Not sure. They won't elaborate. Something to do with a family member? An incident from over two decades ago? Or was it the one from a decade ago? Or a little over three years ago? Not sure. They won't elaborate on that part either.

"Nobody gives here," tell me these thought-forms who have repeatedly claimed to represent, "mostly female law enforcement personnel," and various mental health care providers whom thought-forms continue to tell me this year to, "get help," from. Not exactly the first time that thought-forms have suggested that even actual, professional mental health care providers would not care about my issues with my mother. As the thought-forms would tell me in 2019: "nobody gives a $#%^," -- "you whine so much," -- "there's so much $#%^ to do," -- "therapy is #######4," -- "you were supposed to ###$ one of them," and, "you were supposed to ###$ one of us," (among other similarly vulgar comments and suggestions).

Thought-forms are now telling me to only "use" the little boy--because--according to them; I somehow "told" them to tell me to use the little boy.

I can hear men laughing nearby.