xod_s journal:plz feel most free to respond

I've been thinking,for all my love and affinity for philosophy and deep thought,it cerebral and emotionally charged.I hardly have aniy logic though I'm aware that I might well be riddled with holes like Swiss cheese when it comes to the logic of my ideas.Lord knows that I can evoke a whole lot of emotion and depth in the stuff I think about but one big missing largely ignored component is the structure (and maybe even integrity) of logic that my thoughts have particulary when it's not about the complicated and dismal life and death stuff in extremities.

A new task for me:actually learn about reasoning and logic^1.

To me logic is mainly a tool in my thinking that I should treat like a language more than some seperate entity of a subject like how a lot of intellects use and advocate it to the point that emotional factors or metaphysical factors (like religion and the supernatural) should be utterly disregarded^1 .

I was actually surprised that wiki had a whole page on the history of logic.I was also surprised by something that might shake up things when ppl say "that the logic I'm using is objective" unlike how when you talk about say philosophy ppl tell you "Oh what your saying is too caught up in a Eurocentric mindframe"... turns out there as far as Asian philosophy^2 there is

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_logic

for one thing that goes as far back as the 6th century BC with a dude named Pāṇini having invented a kind of logic with similarities to Boolean logic which would pop up centuries later,but he applied it to Sanskrit grammar.

and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_logic ^7

and according to the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logic page

Logic was studied in several ancient civilizations, including India,[4] China,[5] Persia and Greece.

the logic in Persia I wouldn't be to surprised if it came to influence ancient Persian thought of the pre-Islamic variety,Zorastrianism,Islamic thought particulary the Shia denomination in Iran and the rest of central Asian and that's NOT EVEN consider the interconnections that came by the roundabout from Indian and ancient Greeks going about whether for travel or during conflicts like the Alexandrian conquests .


To me this is significant b/c it really makes me think that I've got to re-evulaute how the epistemology of Dharmmic and Daoic religions works.The Abrahamic religions are famous for being big on epistemology ^3 based on faith and reason (to varying extents among sects though `~`,obviously) but so often when ppl think of Dharmmic and Daoic religions aside from a the lack of centralization and relative humanism next to the Abrahamic religions,the epistemology in those religions are big on emotions,phenemonology,perception and experience ^4 but knowing this;that the cultures that they arose from DO have their own traditions of logic show not only that the epistemology of Eastern philosophy is always borderline psychological or metaphysical but they may very HAVE have logic structures implemented and melded in.

And obviously that the mentality/worldview from South Asian and Sinospheric societies^6 have aside from not only have different emotional stances of value judgements have different traditions of logic that may very well have melded into the society for centuries NOT UNLIKE how in the "West" the logic were used to is Aristotelian ^5 in origins.

This in turn adds a new dimension in "East and West" differences discussions in such a critical way b/c we can now not say that Eastern philosophy is all mushy feelings and far-out and wild speculation about the cosmos or stuff as naively short-sighted as that.IT DOES have it's own logic systems.IT DOES have something as "hard","firm and objective" as logic and that is a quality that can't be dismissed.

This is SO IMPORTANT when you try to think of how ppl in such culturally different societies arrive at claimed affirmations and truth values .

As far as it goes for me,logic would help me with my writing (like this stuff) esp.since like (what ~2/3 of the times ?) it sounds like I'm friggin thinking out loud .It would also help curve my emotions by not being so overly emotionally charged.It'd be like the hand of a different sculpture making sure the clay doesn't get so sloppy and fly around while it's being spun and molded.I REALLY doubt that it'd ever get to the point where I'm more into logic than emotion.I've got a book on reasoning and it's a hefty task having to carefully think and take things so step-by-step unlike emotion.

Could you imagine if I had tried when I was little xD ?.It would've screwed around with my inner wiring in ways that would make what I do and thought convoluted but in a even more different way than what I lived thru.I guess there's a reason why I'd be prime for the task now at 22 than I would've been at any other age for the other 4/5 of my life like say at age 11 .My mind is more full circle and ready to take another method that'lll help me process raw sensory data and sensation about the world into useful and explainable info.

If I can do an analogue to physicality it'll be like the more emotional sort of philosophy and stuff about morality and ethics is strength and cardio training ^8 and logic and reasoning will be more like aerobic and reflex stuff like learning the reflexes,footwork,stances and techniques for a sport or dancing.Or maybe I'll say what I said that previous sentence around after I go thru my exploration .

(Sedgeway for another chat on the exercise book I've been following set up .I've got to go to sleep soon though.My mom is sounding a bit like my dad in how she states for us to go to sleep )

^1 Like some philosophers have been.In recent history I could cite logical positivism,structuralism and maybe even shoehorn something about Bertrand Russell who I don't really know enough about to say about.


^2 Or Eastern philosophy if you really wanna say that so often misunderstood and "under-defined" umberella phrase -~-

^3 The branch of philosophy that can be thought of as "the theory of knowledge" including it's methods,limits,validity (this INCLUDES how to tell apart belief from fact)

^4 Think about words like Karma,Mantra,Dao/"the way",Nirvana,Chakra,Zen and how they're thrown around

^5 there were pre-Aristotelian Greek philosophers who were big into looking at logic.For example Pythagoras for obvious reasons (he needed it to make his math stuff) but Aristotle was the one who formulated it (logic) down in the way we know it

^6 I'd be interested to know and discover how they mingle in Southeastern Asian societies where they've historically interacted with India and China like Vietnam,Cambodia,Thailand, Malaysia,Indonesia etc.Those latter two have notable Muslim minorities by the way

^7 Very interesting first paragraph

Logic in China plays a particularly interesting role in the history of logic due to its repression and abandonment compared to the strong ancient adoption and continued development of the study of logic in Europe, India, and the Islamic world.

it says it first grew of Mozi's (contemoprary of Confucius) Mohism and logician were said to be from the "School of Names" or"School of Forms and Names".

I've already heard of Mohism and am interested in it for it's optimistic take on how ppl are inherently good.

^8 For me at least

My mistake last time:Indonesia and Malaysia both are Muslim majority countries when it comes to religious demographics .

That stuff I said last time on how Eastern philosophy has it's own traditions of logic?.I have a feeling that might be a missing key of variable significance on the internal level as to why Abrahamic religions are so big on orthodoxy and "Eastern" religions on orthopraxis.

There are established practice of logic in Islamic philosophy (during the same time period as Europe's Middle ages) and Christianity with the religiously influenced stuff of the Middle ages.^1

I'm feel that the logic of those periods had a role in the epistemology,metaphysics and particularly the relgiously influenced juriprudence (legal philosophy) of those periods..stuff which nowadays to layman and ppl wo regard care nihl about religion or spirituality would be highly unlikely to ever take a long,hard nuanced and deep look on these topics rather than readily dismissivly declare a/o ridicule as "irrational" -_- ..

^1 Both got lots outta Aristotelianism.There were guys like Anselm of Canterbury and William of Ockham in the European Middle Ages.

In Islam,Shariah got it's ways of formulating arguments early on in Ilm al-Kalam (the science of discourse) before Aristotelian and other Hellenistic stuff got more popular with Mu'tazila (a school of reason based theology) in 8th century Iraq

It had it's medieval logicians with guys like Al-Kindi, Al-Farabi, Avicenna, Al-Ghazali and Averroes.And even the stuff that these guys (Muslim guys) came up with caught on European thought with the Renaissance.

but knowing this;that the cultures that they arose from DO have their own traditions of logic show not only that the epistemology of Eastern philosophy is [not] always borderline psychological or metaphysical but they may very HAVE have logic structures implemented and melded in.

-~- D---.The nit-picking I do sometimes.I feel like I gotta do sometimes.Does not being able to edit a journal entry keep things more authentic,hmm? .

On the level of my personal mentality and emotions learning about reasoning and logic might help curve my impulsiveness and vindictiveness which I'm trying to work on for my New Years resolution.

I''ve already done the "The Shaolin Workout: 28 Days to Transforming Your Body and Soul the Warrior's Way" twice^1 and was about to finish doing it thrice until I stopped at "Day 22" on the 23rd for a good reason;playing a miniclip game with my little cousin.I haven't done it for the past two days b/c yuh know Christmas eve and day ^2.I prob.could get thru the whole 28 days worth of movements done in ~1.5-2 hrs ideally if I had the space and no one was looking. But Oh God!,I can imagine the funny looks ("stronger" than usual) I'd be getting if someone say some 22 year old man-thing* doing what's claimed to be gung-fu routine from an exercise book rather than in a more formal MA club setting.I'm sorta surprised by how my family hasn't been more suspicious on seeing Sifu Shi Yan Ming posing and I'm sorta thankful that they've just seen the interior non-combative stuff pages b/c if they saw/read the cover..ack the stares I'd get .

*NOT >:I a phallic referance--I'm referring to my massive insecurity of the inadquecay of my identity with the "thing" part b/c all the unfilled stuff I haven't done on the social clock society judges it's judgemental a--- on

It's the thing that's being keeping me flexible and giving me reflexes though I've noticed that by the 2nd week ppl in family start commenting that I gotta eat more -_- which I always find sorta odd if it gives off the vibe that I'm slim^3 when it's not like this is hardcore cardio--it's closer in description to a fairly tedious,repetitive but interesting reflex/light aerobic exercise in regular terms.The first two weeks are easy to go through but trying to get through the 3rd week is when it becomes tedious -~- .

I actually find the 4th/last week of stuff easier than the 3rd week which has 2/5 of the main contemporary wushu stances;Xie Bu (resting stance) and Pu Bu (flat stance but called crouching stand in the book) are easy in method but if your doing them every day on top of loads of other stuff it gets tedious and tiring soon to have your arm posing downwards sorta like a stereotypical disco pose but with only one arm and a croched knee and other leg really straightened out and for the the Pu Bu i've got to hop^4 .The other three wushu stances Gong Bu" (bow stance), "Ma Bu" (horse stance),and "Xu Bu" (false stance) I dont mind.Gong Bu I actually like,the horse stance is commonly seen in gung- fu and Xu Bu is sorta like the the "Heaven and Earth" stance of Tai-chi but walk forward,knees sorta bent with your arms rotating with hands however you like them whether it's in open palms or fists.

I'll continue with the book but not as much and not in the same way.I'll pick and choose what to do and as much as I like alotta of the stretching activities I only personally find that only about ~12-14 of the movements in total from the 28 days can potentially have combative applications ^6 particulary if you take it upon yourself to practice them daily which is what I sorta wanna do.The flexibility from the other days I can get from exercise videos a/o the "30 minutes a day for firefighter fitness" routine I'd like to look into

It's having been following that book that's taken away time I'd might have using for writing and "jabberjawing" my thoughts out.For the rest of the year I'd really like to do writing and catch up with reading including going thru a book on Xingyi.

It feels good though to have done it twice.To tell the truth ,the first time I did it,it was so I can get to speed with someone who I knew of who recently was taking Muay Thai classes.The second time I did was to see if I could do it without such a bad motive.This third attempt was to get it established in my system before the year ends under no bad intention but just for the sake of the exercise in and of itself.I wont finish it up but I'll take up the 12-14 days worth of stuff I've learned from it with gladness of having the privledge of used this book and this book having been written .

^1 As tricky as it was to pull it all off in time.Both during the summer days and during late October-ish

^2 Yesterday I took the time to think things out.I decided not to continue b/c I might very well go on with it till past New Year's and it's harder to do this exercise with my dad around.

^3 Well that and my recent adoptation of changes in what I eat,amounts per day and trying not to eat past 8 pm (special occasions like the Christmas eve and upcoming New Year's eve being exceptions)

^4 Yes outta 28 days of stuff to do only 1 and 1/2 require jumping .Only the crouching stance and the "sleeping louhan" on the last day, sorta ^_^

^5 Which vary in amounts of added on movements:4 is common in the first week but some days it's just one with like 3 steps though

^6 I've said it before though,that part is a question of creativity .Although were it ever to happen honestly I think I'm more comfortable with grappling b/c my sight without my glasses while not terrible isn't consistently reliable enuff to undergo detecting strikes from others or not comprimise my direction and my own manuerobility as one day of actual boxing can attest too ""^_^ .It's why ideally I'd like to do martial Tai-chi which has it's own set of grapples and take-downs or the greatly even more tactile Aikido.The is only one place in Hamilton that teaches Aikido and it's in a very distant location that would fool me for a middle-of-nowhere stand on a road looking at the "map mode" of google map so for now if anything,if any MA clubs I'd like to visit the JKD place b/c of JKD's "formless form" approach I've heard of.

That funky speech sounding (spoken?) poem by Gil Scott Heron I sometimes hear parts of in "I'm lost in the world" by Kanye West is "Comment 1" while interesting I didn't like as much as I thought I was going to like is interesting and maybe something that'll be more so interesting after a deep look into it's context.I've been sitting on my chair in front of a computer more than I'm used to in the odd pattern of not having been in movment (ie.exercised) before though .

The value of human socialness:as highlighted by the question "how are you going to learn how to drive ?" when you have no friends,no car of your own,parents who are always busy ^1 ,no outside help from other relatives and a foggy future that calls into heavy question if you'll ever work stably or even marry.

For those of us stuck in such scenerios when being trendy lil' "I constantly brag about my stylishness,high marks and athleticism" b----ds in high school who was working part-time and learning how to drive ^3 wasn't us and we've got a stew of internal issues not being alleviated by the demands of d---- social clocks floating around we're left to fend for ourselves in questions like those,when judgemental a--- teachers who prasied/glorified d---- "trendies" like those in the class were callous dumbashes with the rest of us.

Even if I never own a car (which is a seperate issue) the ability to drive one thru the inner core of a medium sized city for whatever reason whether it be mundane grocery gathering or an emergency is an ability I'd like to have without any comprimise to how I execute it.

Happy eve of 2014 everyone.

^1 One with domestic work and the other with a curmudgeonly attitude with the perpetual struggle of finding work,like what I fear will happen to me

^2 TRUST ME F---- that dichotomy of "nerds" and "jocks".Neither groups really exist to begin with but a third,true and established group is "trendy" [note:NOT neccessarily cool kids like so many b.s. late 90's teen movies] who are "powerful" b/c of their stylishness,high marks ever so bragged about and athleticism ever so flouted in the chambers of their d--- cliques.

^3 How the f---wads pulled off such optimal surface lives is a f----n wonder -_- /life mystery that it would take a social sci expert who IS a teen to fully unravel that s---y a--- phase of life.

There have been various notes I've left to myself around here to finish writing stuff but I've learned that it's okay not having to commit to it and be okay with not getting back to that topic.

I think I can summarize at least one though.

Cree native nations^1-according to my anthro teacher b/c of the belief that animals offer their lives voluntarily when ppl went out hunting,traditionally the person who was considered the wisest in Cree culture was also the best hunter b/c they were thought to be more in tuned with nature and such

http://www.youtube.com/user/elliottsaidwhat/videos Eliot Hulse-strength athlete who also does topical videos.I'm not saying that I have problem with someone so into athleticism going againest the grain of preconceptions and sterotypes by being intellectual but I still am apprehensive thinking that he might be a bit abrasive^2 think I wouldn't be to surprised if his attitude is ego fueled and not personally pleasant

^1 He didn't say any particular regional group like the woods,plain or swampy Cree nation

^2 In person to me?,maybe..I dunno has anyone ever felt that even when you find athletic ppl who like to converse on topical stuff it still feels like there's a vibe of "you must be this buff to have attention paid too" or else they'll ignore a/o think little of you,since even if they don't think the preconception they're still abrasive b/c of elitist egos?.I felt that a few times in high school and this from ppl who authentically did have some pretty high marks .

I feel TERRIBLE for the blatant lies I told my dad at various instances years ago when I said I knew ppl so smart that they didn't work -_- .

Auughh -_- ...I sorta regret saying the things I said about Elliot after seeing his "draw my life" vid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzLDMeZJ3PU

'_' He seems like a nice guy even if the juxtaposition of me talking to someone so buff might make me a bit nervous at first.

Something about this hat is ssooo [early -_-] 90's^1 .

http://www.rodeoarcade.com/products/din ... n-camp-cap

^1 So often ppl think of garishness of the early to mid 90's.Eras whose style I liked but tbh am hardly able to remember let alone comprehend when I saw the stuff on the ubiquitous and mundane level.

Yesterday was mom's birthday celebration whence I licked a bit of the mango mousse cake frosting.Today at ~12 I ate like 1/2-ish of the chocalate piece that had her name on it.Why do I say this?.B/c this is the 2nd time this year that I've had chocolate outside of some leftover hot chocolate a few weeks back.Since last summer-ish I've decided to never really eat certain things again like some kinds of junk food.

I know theres TONNES of tips out there on how much junk food is okay,when best to eat,what activities to follow it up with after but me.Nah .Going cold turkey on certain foods is like following dietary restrictions due to a lifestyle factor you gotta consider (ex.a fatal allergy or religious deitary restrictions).Inaction,simple inaction,inaction to take action (decisiveness, decision on,taking a decision on,an action on something) is one of the easiest paths to avoidance methinks, and this is no different.Ahh well I'm sure that even Olympic atheletes and MMA fighters make way for somethng like chocolate on special occasions like their parents birthday ^2.Although I can try to imagine what grams of fat there were in that chocolate spread to my body^3 .

At times I think I'm being "skinny shamed" when ppl comment on my slimness.I'd really wish they'd stop doing that and talk on about gain muscle b/c honestly the body I have right now is one the most comfortable forms I've ever had.I remember btw a leg limp,pudginess and turmoiling psychological and (social?) health when I was little hating being the way I was b/c I was weak and had such a f----g hard time running with the "light" but burning feeling of what I think is lactic acid discouraging me to stop,catch me breath and get anxiety over how much I s---k everytime.Sure how I got now was b/c about the practically/very self-destructive obsession for running for hours on end in August 2007 and I haven't really had a problem with cardio stuff^4 since then but it s---ks how everyone says "you gotta have muscle,man" in my family and as we know and see thru the saturation of muscle mass in the media when for me it's a more delicate thing to pull off not just b/c I have schoolwork but b/c for me flexibility and speed take higher priorities and I dont want to comprimise such great abilities for mere muscle space take-up and strength as is SSSOOooo often seen and conventionally espoused -~- .

One of my aunt's,a cheery 2nd youngest maternal aunt who I like came to visit yesterday and talked with me mom before her husband came in when my mom told him he could come in.When we visited them at the Christmas eve party she commented how I was "skinnier -_-" then the time she me in summer months before.She said that I gotta put on muscle b/c "girls like something like they can grab on to ^5" -_- .Hours later her husband (who's a bricklayer) talked to me about someone he knows from work who's buff as sorta a example on why to eat more that night.

Oh how I'm anxiously awaiting school to be over to do some new things for exercising -_- .I'm not following the kung-fu exercise book anymore as,as moderately enjoyable as it was it's tricky and sorta impractical to follow fully.I suppose if I wanna be a "jack of all trades/balanced physical qualities" ^6 the ellipitcal machine helps for cardio b/c of the work done on all my limbs instead of just my legs but making strength exercises enjoyable for me is still a pain in the butt challenge.

See I know that "working out is like a job -_-".A job.A form of work.Work.School has always been a source of that and ytf would I wanna displace the recreational time I have that I use in hopes of alleviating my anxiety with work in the form of physical strain on myself as slow and heavy as myself done for hours on ends for days on end until I see outcomes of strength and muscle that can be affirmed,by myself (for whom I feel ambivalent) and what few ppl I interact with.B/c honestly hand weights are a butt pain to me and frequently weight machines feel like their gonna quarter me even with the paltry amounts of weight I put on them.

I'm thankful that gyms aren't full of boastful egotists like I thought for a long time they would be but at Mohawk at least this is what I see .People who aren't fit,guys who are REALLY fit and do moderately daunting strength exercises commonly ^7 ,girls that have both those prior statements applicable to them ^8 but there not that many slim (or "skinny" -_-) looking guys like myself who struggle to do regular exercises of moderate level with an acceptable/fast or regular speed and correct technique^9.Which is a weird a--- dilemma that might be solved effectively by personally attention from a trainer quicker than the trail-and-error which would probably be unneccesarily frustrating and take a long a--- time.Personally I'd like to drop to 140 from the 145-147 I probably am right now and keep it that way till the workout time I'll prob.have in summer so that I could "foundation weight" for beginning muscularity ^1 .When I get the point that I way 135-142 but look ripped *THEN* I'll know that I've acheived muscularity or maye even reach 170 by way of muscle and that would probably get my family to lay off commenting on my "skinniness" -_- .


^1 I talk this way but seldom does it [this stuff I talk about] manifest .I don't really know right now at least what affinity a person might find in what I say.

^2 Not to mention after party shennigans

^3 When I was in the biotech program the last cell bio lab we did was using an apparatus to extract fat from regular flavor Lays chips so I know how fat from such mundane junk food looks like.Like the top layer of coconut oil,but with a less clear look with a few more clumps to it.

^4 And I've wondered if the speed with which I can go up a staircase is on par with a firefighter doing stair climbing drills

^5 I felt like retorting "-_-Yeah well it's not like girls reciprocate that" b/c I rarely see girls who have an equatable physicality like http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/201 ... sexy-3.jpg b/c I do think as well that girls with such a level of fitness look darn good themselves but you don't really see that,that much among women do you?.It's ussually the "lose weight" msg that's more pressed on women it seems that...all that and how I think of this whenever it comes to anyone's physicality regardless of their sex;you never really know what's under the shirt under you see it for sure yourself.

^6 Instead of a "jack of all stats" for whom strength,speed and power specializing focus is flippin redundant with is the daydream of many -_-,maybe

^7 Yeah,yeah Health and wellness and police foundations students all around the school I know -_-

^8 I think I could make like a Venn diagram outta this

^9 B/c no one ever pays attention to cardio feats -_- .D--- you attention and how your "currency" or "capital".