weepingwillow's journal (replies welcome)

That sounds hard, did that not make things worse? my mum found out about a few things when i was younger and just told me to stop it and ignored me for a while. i just learned to hide them better.

I will definately keep trying. my daughter needs me healthy.

Thank you

willow

It did make things worse yes. But I managed to get a lot better later on so that is good. I am really sorry to hear about you Mum and how she behaved - that must have been tough for you. I hope you get to a point where you dont have to worry about hiding things because you are doing better.

Huge hugs

Cracked

Yeh, that is good
me and mum get on alot better now. it would be nice not to feel like i need to hide things. hopefully..

i tried to have one of the snacks on the meal plan today, didnt go well. ended up in a binge. but i tried and i will keep trying.
i dont know if i want to show the girl my food diary, i hope i can though because she said it might help give her an idea of whats going on.

anyway, pretty good day

willow

binged and threw up 4 times today. its got me thinking i really should make that appointment for the blood test. im going to do it in the morning. at least then i can get any supplements i need.

I think going for the blood test is a good idea - apart from anything else they will be able to advise you on what you need to take supplement wise and also may be able to reassure you. I think it is wise to get checked.

In terms of showing your food diary I think it would really help as it would let the person who you are seeing know a little more about what is going on - I know it seems scary and like an invasion of privacy but I think it would help

HUge hugs

Cracked

hey
i chickened out of making the appt. i will do it though.

it is scary to think about showing her the food diary but i can see how it would help. its just the thought of her reading it while im sitting there, i would be mortified.

kept down 1 bite of dry wholemeal toast today!! sounds pitiful but its the most ive kept down in months! i did go for a run after but still..

think im getting a cold feel a bit rough.

another good day!

willow

I think if you can manage to make the appointment that will be a really good thing and a way of taking care of yourself - which is so important.

As for her reading the food diary with you there - yes that sounds really really tough but I think it will be really powerful too. Bulimia is such a secret illness and being even a little bit open about any aspect of it can be really healing - I think it would be a positive thing.

Huge hugs hon

Cracked

Im determined to make the appointment first thing monday morning. I know i really need to.

I see what you're saying about bulimia being secretive and how being open about it would be healing and positive. I never thought of it like that before. I will make sure i show her, i really do want to do whatever it takes to get better even if it means doing something im uncomfortable with.

Didn't sleep at all last night but not feeling that tired . Haven't tried eating today, already binged and threw up twice. bumped into my friend (the one who knows) on my way home with binge food! wanted the ground to swallow me! she didn't say anything but im sure she noticed.

ah well, can't do anything about it now. still in positive mode

My positive mood has gone again but hopefully not for long!
I think its mostly me just being over sensitive.

hopefully i'll be back on track tomorrow

Hugs hon

I hope this finds you feeling better - let me know how you are doing.

I have been caught with binge food by someone who knew before - it is awful, must have been really difficult for you.

Huge hugs hon and I hope this finds you doing OK

Cracked