Do I have HOCD? Please read

So I have always been worriedof my sexuality. I'm 17 years old. and its something i worry about each and every day. so whenever i hear the word, even the word, gay i get so tense and worry someones talking about me. because ive always been thought of as gay by other guys. I looked up what HOCD is online, and i have half of the symptoms.

I've beendescribed as a "homosexual heteroromantic". I would enjoy sexual relations with a guy MY AGE ONLY, i imagine a future with a girl, i imagine marrying a woman, and having kids with one and growing old with one (i wasnt' conditioned to think that way, as ive been told tons of times), i dont really imagine anything sexual with a woman tho. i do believe some women look amazingly beautiful (ei, Kim Kardashian ) When I try to 'pleasure' myself to straight porn, it takes a while. but i can, but when i 'pleasure' myself to gay porn i get turned on immediately. The thing is, is that i dont look at the womans body and get turned on. i think it might be because i grew up with naked women in artwork and sculptures (Bill Mack) around the house. I believe that the womans body is very beautiful, but i dont think of it sexually. Also, I hate saying things like "Oh wow id f her good" or "wow shes hot", id rather make that one moment a very special and meaningful moment, and id rather call a woman beautiful. I just feel akward talking about girls to any other guy. I'd love to have a girlfriend to take to the movies (and put my arm around or make out) but I dont really think about sex with girls, but guys. when i get older, i imagine cuddling with my wife and telling her how my day was, but i cannot imagine cuddling with a guy and telling him my day. i mean, right now, i know i only think guys look attractive if they look around the age of 20. so when im middle aged, itd be gross being with a guy whos middle aged like me. scientists say that you know your sexuality based off of who you want to spend your future with, so since i imagine afuture with a woman, according to those scientists, im straight. All this is always in my mind. I really REALLY dont want to be gay. I believe it can be changed, if attitudes can be changed, then why cant sexual attraction be changed? its like an alcoholic saying "I was born to be an alcoholic", i think of that same thing when people say "Your born gay", i believe its a mixture of environment, and genetic triggers.

On Yahoo! Answers I posted the following question:
"I feel attracted to both guys and girls my age. i looked it up online, and a few sites said it was 'normal' because of the hormones or whatever. And there was a site that said scientists say that you know your sexuality by knowing who you want to spend your future with, a guy or a girl. I only imagine spending my future with a girl. I imagine growing old with a girl, marrying a girl, havinga family. No where in my image of my future do i see a guy. so According to thoes scientists i am straight. Yet right now i feel like im attracted to both sexes equally. is this truly normal because of the hormones? according to what that scientists said, I am straight. i really desire a girlfriend tho, i just would find it akward physically touching her like kissing and such. somoene said i was a 'homosexual heteromantic'. like i'll look at straight porn, and i do get turned on, but it does take a while, yet when i look at gay porn, ill get immediately turned on. people say i imagine a future with a woman cause i was conditioned to, but i realy dont think its cause of that. i get turned on by guys around the age of 20, thats it. i also hate using the word hot for women, i would rather say beautiful and pretty. so i necesarely dont get that turned on by a womans body, becauesi grew up with it not artwork with women andaue my parents have tons of artwork with women and naked women, so id bewalking around the house turned on all the time lol

But when it come to porn, i prefer gay becaue it turns me on more. but straight porn can turn me on just as much, but takes a little bit of 'playing' before i get turned on.

so are these just hormones that are making me gay and is this normal for teen?"

The Response I received was:
"you masterbate and watch porn too much, what you have is HOCD.

stop fantasizing, stop porn, and stop jacking off. for 90 days. let your brain reset.

also be around woman as much as possible
Source(s):
check out yourbrainonporn.com all your answers you will find there"


qSo please help me! What does this sound like? Is this HOCD? Is this 'normal'? What can I do to fix this? I went onto that yourbrainonporn.com and it said its possible to re wire your brain, and it said that watching gay porn when your straight is normal. But I found no where a situation similiar to mine. If I follow that regimen they provide of not pleasuring myself for a while, and when i do, do it without porn, will that make me straight? If I slowly introduce straight porn after staying away from pleasuring myself for a few weeks, will that make me straight?

In my opinion, no.
Nothing in your post suggests that you are having intrusive thoughts and ritualized mental rumination that neutralize them; those thing are pretty much the essence of any HOCD.
From your post I get the impression that you are troubled by the discord of your homosexual and heteroromantic part.
Given that you are attracted to men and don't seem to find that fact troubling by itself I'd say that you are either gay or bisexual.