HOCD: I want this to stop!

This is my second post and possibly my last. On my last post I stated that after a weird dream I have been having irratating homosexaul thoughts and anxiety with it. This is been going on for almost three months three months now and I want it to stop. All my life I've been attracted to women and never once have I had an erection for a guy , even now, so I know I'm straight. I have never been in an actual relationship but I have had sex four times in my life and I loved it, and now Im starting to like this girl I'm working with and spending time with her. I even fantisiezed about having sex with her.
What sucks now is that I've lost my attraction to women. I mean I can look at a beautiful woman and not feel attracted to her even when I want to be, but when I picture her naked and me pleasuring her I get an erection. Awile ago, I tried looking a gay porn to see if I would get an erection and I didn't get one. I even touched myself while looking and felt even more disgusted and still no erection. Two weeks ago, I started seeing a therapist and now I go for weekly visits. He told me after what I explained my story to him he told me I am not gay but obssessing over my sexuality.
Now things in my brain feel even more weird. The anxiety feels like its fading, but I still have these intrusive thoughts and with the lack of anxiety and the loss of attraction to women it feel like I like these thoughts. But it's weird, I don't look at gay porn or pics anymore when I check but mentally these thoughts and images in my brain are not arousing me (I don't get an erection). The voice in my head saying "Your gay and you know it" feels like its getting stronger but I really don't want to be gay. No disrespect to people who are gay, but I always imagined marrying a beautiful woman and creating children with that woman and dying of old age with that woman. When I feel like I'm in control of my brain, I know I'm straight. But when these thoughts go through my head I try so hard to picture a naked woman or the girl I like and I start to get an erection and then my brain changes the image and I lose my erection sometimes fast and sometimes slow but it still goes down. I can't help it but I have to look for assurance, even though my therapist and parents told me not to (It like an addiction). If anybody is or has gone through what I'm going through can you please give me some advice or tell me how I should deal with this problem. I know that in my heart and body that Im not gay, but my brain is telling me that the physical attraction to women and all my memories and past fantisies with women were all a lie, like i never enjoyed it. I don't want to be gay. Please help!

You have two very bad habits that need to end immediately.
First, stop touching yourself while watching gay porn; you will eventually get an erection and you will think that means you are gay, but what in reality that will mean is that your body while connected to and dependent on your brain is still just an organ that responds to stimuli.
People (both men and women) sometimes experience sexual arousal or even orgasm during rape but that doesn't mean they wanted it, liked it or weren't disgusted by it (they are in fact a lot more disgusted by it then you are by gay porn); all it means is that their body responded in the way it was designed to respond.
Second, stop mentally checking if those images or thoughts are arousing you; eventually you will - if you haven't already - start checking your genitalia by focusing your attention on it, and once you do, you will feeling something that you will mistake for a sexual response while in reality your "response" is the result of you focusing your attention on that area.

Hi,
Sorry for mistakes in English if I have.
You should not be worried, you are not gay, I can assure that.
In your age (as you mentioned in your first post) it's very legitimate and normal to have doubts regarding sexual preference. There is no doubt that lot of people question it, some of them even until they get 30, so first thing is to know you are not alone and shouldn't be concerned of being lonely when coping with your worries and thoughts. When questioning sexuality is OCD, anxiety, intrusive thoughts and you cannot function normally in daily life, you have to go to psychiatric observation (Which is very important, essential and supportive). I am sure you will get also great support and help from your parents. The psychiatrist will decide what cure you will have to be treated with, most-usual is medication. Meanwhile, try not to be busy with those thoughts (even if you feel you lose attraction to women) , just ignore them, and keep on going to therapist.

Be optimistic and everything will be fine, i promise you.
Good luck!

I feel like i loss my attraction to girls too, but I still get it up with my girlfriend and feel attracted to her. I dont know if the loss of attraction to other girls is due to the fact that i have a girl that I really care about or its just this hocd. It sucks, I remember see her friends and saying damn, but idk anymore.

This is pissing me off. I now have had a girlfriend for 3 months and I know I love her. But now I think I have a bit of ROCD w/ HoCD b/c when I'm not with her my brain is telling me i don't love her but in reality I don't want to lose her. Whenever I'm with her i get an i get an erection just by being by her. I've even imagine myself married to her with a daughter. I want these thoughts to stop please, I don't want to be gay, but like some people say the more u obsess the more u believe whats not possible. So my ? Is how do I stop obsessing. I now have no anxiety and it scares me so much. I look at women masturbating on the web site and I get an erection and I'm happy, but soon after when I'm relaxed I feel numb again. It is now hard to fantasize about women, but I still want to, I know I'm not gay but the back of my brain keeps telling me these lies. I want it to stop!!!