Stressed Out Over Irrational and Untrue Thinking

To give you an idea of what I'm going through I'll paint an over-the-top simplistic analogy.

2 + 2 = 4... yes? We all agree? The truth couldn't be simpler.

Yet, I go around feeling as though maybe it's 5, do other people think it's 5, do other people think that I think it's 5, do other people think that I think that they think it's 5? And worse, because this feeling of it being 5 am I not worthy of happiness, am I inadequate as a human being in every situation?

It's all consuming sometimes. I'm reaching out because it's gotten ridiculous lately, consuming me 24/7 (even in my dreams).

It's ridiculous because I know full well it's 4 and I have absolutely nothing to worry about, nothing wrong with me and I've done nothing wrong to anyone. Only, seemingly a sick part of my brain aims to go against my orders of rational, logical thought and cause me the same bad feelings of untrue things as if they were true.

I've been working hard at killing this sick part of my mind. I moved out of a bad environment where there were a lot of negative people, I've been meditating for 6 months. I've definitely been getting better, but enough is enough already. I'm tired of irrational thought dictating my happiness, self esteem and confidence levels.

I can tell you now I'm not interested in taking pills. I think it's a corrupt industry that too easily diagnoses people. And even if it "helps" it's really just covering up a problem, not solving it. I've always believed in self help. Real self help, as in intelligently analyzing your life and adjusting accordingly.

I've solved many of my own problems with my mind, but this issue is specifically deterring because my mind itself is the problem, a misbehaving sector of the brain.

I know that positive thinking is important, meditating, letting time heal, eating right, exercising, having new and good experiencing to replace/purge out the bad, receiving affection (although you can't exactly just buy that at the drugstore) and so on.

Anything I'm missing? Any tricks? And I suppose I am looking to hear if other people have this specific irrational thinking problem also or if I'm just...

I'd love some insight hopefully from someone who's experienced this issue and worked through it.

Really I think you are missing some basic understandings on OCD. The thoughts are biological events. The brain is actually misfiring and giving you unwanted thoughts that do not originate from that logic part of the brain. You can't reason with your OCD thoughts. All you can do is accept them as thoughts that come from your OCD brain. This misfiring part of your brain may misfire a little more if you are anxious but anxiety doesn't cause OCD. You can't meditate your OCD brain into compliance with your wishes. That is why medication does work. A low dose of Luvox as a start is fine. If it does the trick then your life feels better. The meds just try to fix the faulty biochemistry. Many OCDers get great relief.
The other technique is to learn your own exposure and response prevention technique. So you would write out 2 plus 2 equals 5. Yep this is the new law for the day love it. Just accept the thought rather than argue logically. Remember Law of OCD. Can't argue logic with OCD brain just accept thoughts and have a laugh. We will just have to wait for your creative OCD brain to think up something else tomorrow.
It is the feelings that you attach to your thoughts when they come that causes your distress. You get rid of the bad feelings as soon as you learn how to welcome the thoughts. Odd thing. They more likely go away just when you are madly trying to welcome them in. Good luck

Actually, that's not true completely. Maybe in severe OCD, but I've always had mild OCD and Tourette's and can overcome it purely with my mind. I think you can look at studies and averages etc, but every human is different. There's no black and white here. And people far more intelligent than ourselves fully admit to there being plenty of mystery left.

I've never taken medication, not even headache medicine and through my mind alone I've overcome all sorts of issues. Albeit if I get really stressed out here comes the Tourette's and OCD ticks, because I'm not in full control, my body, adrenaline, whatever is.

I used to cry it was so bad, I was crippled. I was young and finally asked my parents about it "What's wrong with me?" They told me it was a sickness in my mind and that the school had recommended I be on Ridoline, but they didn't agree etc etc. It came to me like an epiphany "It's just in my mind? Then I can beat this!"

I never had therapy or anyone to help me. Through sheer willpower I worked on it every day and slowly I cut out the eye twitches, counting, obsessive hand washing (you know the cliches). Eventually I didn't have to think about it anymore. It was more or less gone.

Knowledge is power so no offense, but my personal advice would not be to give in to irrational, negative and untrue thought and always work on correcting this. I think saying oh well, I can't control it, it's a disease, pop a pill and call it a day is a copout. Human beings and the human mind are capable of incredible and unknown things to come. We don't even use our minds to full capacity, not even close.

So with that out of the way the problem I'm faced with now is the fact that thinking is the problem itself. Thinking about thinking is very vicious territory. It's sort of like using a computer with a virus to try and remove the virus from itself. It's just no good sometimes and you need to do a clean install. Think Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I might signup for that.

My best friends in healing are time and wisdom and I need lots more of it.

I never said you had to agree with the thoughts in the logical sense. What I implied but perhaps badly worded was not to create anxiety because a thought came. Creating a welcome but dismiss as OCD is the mindset. You aren't in battle with the next thought to get rid of with will power. You just truthfully recognize and attribute to OCD without any emotional attachment or value placed on the thought.
You can't pop a pill and it will go away. Most OCDers need to work on a strategy for thought processing most of their lives. Many do have a tendency to depression as well as their OCD. The meds just take the edge of the symptoms so they have a better chance to work successfully on managing the thoughts.
The technique is about labelling and attributing correctly with detachment. Hard to do.

There are a lot of studies on thought suppression and the paradoxical increase in thoughts it causes. Have a google. It seems like common sense to try and resist the thoughts but it is the failed resistance that creates the anxiety. You start anticipating another thought. Have a look into Fred Penzel as well.

I think we partly agree. When the thoughts come on of course there has to be some acceptance. I don't mean start humming and going "la la la la la" like it's not there. Definitely talk yourself through it, "Here comes the OCD thoughts, don't worry, I know it's not true and it'll pass and I'll be fine." That's what I mean.

"So you would write out 2 plus 2 equals 5. Yep this is the new law for the day love it."

This is the part I wholeheartedly disagree with because obviously we're not really talking about the number 5. It's an analogy that could represent a lot of messed up things like I have cancer or, I want to destroy all of mankind or my neighbor is working for Satan, you get the picture.

Maybe, maybe that rule works when it's something silly like thinking you have a connection with aliens or that you're a descendant of Jesus, something that won't lead to you hurting yourself or others. But, when it's dark, negative, bad energy and thought you should counter attack your thoughts. At least with me it brings my mind some peace and balance to talk rationally to myself and meditate.

Back to the analogy because it really quite easily demonstrates the process, if I started thinking about 5 I can talk to myself "It's just fine, 2 + 2 = 4, you know that full well, that's a fact, stop dwelling on it and everything will be fine, keep moving forward." One of my tricks is to "Keep moving forward." Instead of letting your thoughts cripple you continue on with your day and you occupy your mind with errands or whatever.

Clearly I don't have severe OCD, at least not anymore. When I was a child I was crippled from doing sports, hanging out with friends and such because of it. But again I could still be that way if I hadn't worked on my mind so intensely when I was younger. To give you an idea of how complexly I thought when I was younger I had my first "What's the meaning of life?" epiphany when I was nine.

I don't know if that's normal, but I've never related to any friend or family member that thought that complexly that young. I don't know if being capable of that much thought while my brain was still developing somehow was the right combo for overcoming sever OCD, but I did.

I have a theory about all the problems we have, mostly in the US. I think it started with the industrial revolution and where we've gone with technology. The bottom line is we are so unnatural in every way. Where we used to have to hunt for our food, build our own shelter and actually work hard, every day, occupying ourselves. Now, we just have everything handed to us. You really don't ever have to leave your home if you don't want.

Convenience has given us far too much time to think and it'll only get worse. It's not news that we're destroying ourselves, not the planet, but ourselves. I always get a kick out of the modern-day planet-loving hippies. We're a joke to this planet, it'll be here long after we're gone.