intrusive thoughts annoying

mine focus on a lot of things lately on pedophilia i know im not that way but when i talked to a pyschologist she said i could possibly be, i tried to tell it was intrusive thoughts, it just bugs me because there annoying because i always check to see if im aroused and usually my member moves very slightly when i check i know my orientation isn't that its just annoying as hell dealing with something you can't talk to barely any about without getting judged and i fully understand why that is

Hello hemisfear; what you fear is quite common amongst people with ocd. Looking at previous pages just now, I've seen that other people have posted with similar fears. I read a book about ocd once, and a woman in it was describing the same situation of checking for signs of sexual arousal. Of course, if you do that, more often than not you will feel something, whatever you're looking at or thinking about.

I think that perhaps if you could find a therapist who specialized in ocd, he or she would be able to understand and dismiss your concerns. (I mean, reassure you that they aren't indicative of paedophilia.) Perhaps you could buy a book on ocd first, that described the sort of worry that you have, and how common it is, and show that to the therapist.

All the best.