Am I struggling with OCD?

I was diagnosed years ago with OCD. It's very manageable....or used to be. I used to have intrusive sexual thoughts about disgusting sexual acts and perversion. I was constantly scared that I was a pedofile or would hurt someone close to me. I went to see a psychologist and they knew immediately that I had OCD. Once the disorder was identified, that was enough for the thoughts to leave me alone. I know that I'm not a pedofile and that I'm okay.

But, over that last year, I've been struggling with another issue. It just dawned on me that I might be experiencing more OCD. But, I wanted to put it out there on this board and see if anyone thinks this is OCD related and if I need to go get help.

So, I think frequently about human suffering. I am not a happy person because I know that there are children who are molested and abused. There are brothels filled with women and children who get raped all day every day and live in horrible living conditions. Occasionally, I wake up at night thinking about it. I think "someones getting abused at this very moment and I can't do anything about it." Occasionally, I cry. But, usually, I'm in a constant state of anxiety. I can't enjoy life. I'm so sad. I want to cry right now. I just keep wondering why there is so much suffering our world. And, what can I do about it? I'm a stay at home mom, so I don't feel like there's much I can do. But, maybe there is something. I keep thinking that if I can find something that I can do to help at least one person, then I will feel better. So, is me helping someone else just a way for me to get relief from my anxiety? I think that is part of my motivation, but I also really want to help others.

I also have a hard time getting adequate air. There are times when I have to take many, many deep breaths and I feel like I might suffocate. I also have irrational fears that someone will steal my kids. Then, my mind goes through all kind of images of what the abductor would do to them. Sometimes I imagine them in a brothel. And, then I make myself stop. Why do I torture myself like this? Why am I like this? I don't know anyone in my life who struggles like me. Everyone seems fine with life and happy. I'm the sad and overwhelmed person who thinks about the stuff that others find easy to shun away from their minds.

Also, my ears ring constantly.

I feel hopeless. I feel like I'm going to be this way forever.

Now that I've written all that out, I'm pretty sure this is from OCD. Do I need to get help? What should I do?

Thanks for any help.

OCD makes normal anxiety go into overdrive.

It sounds like you are concerned for your children's safety. Very understandable considering the violent world we live in, and all the negative things on the news. The problem is OCD amplifies this concern which probably isn't healthy for you or the kids.

I find helping people gives me a sense of purpose. I get frustrated when I cannot do something to help others. I like to volunteer as much as I can. Maybe look for a non profit or church you can volunteer with?

I used to work in the horse industry and I would feel the same way as there are so many abusers in that industry. It was very difficult for me- I would get attached to the horses and to see someone else mistreat them was very upsetting.

My suggestion is to go to the doctor and get on medication for anxiety. If you have the money for it, therapy is helpful too.

Thanks for the advice. I think volunteering would really help me feel like I am doing something to help. I am going to look into volunteering at an orphanage. Maybe I could bring my kids with me. That is so sad about the horses! Some people just suck. I love animals, too. I am glad there are people like you in the world.