I don't have the disorder anymore

I did when I was a teenager. It probably lasted for 3 years. I used to retake steps, skip tiles patterns on the floor, wash my hands- dry hands with paper towels- touch door knob- close and open doors (I had to start all over whenever I got the feeling that I didn't do it right or I touched the wrong part of the object that I was touching at the moment or if I had a negative feeling about what I touched or how I touched it, checking stove tops and toasters.

I don't do a lot of what I mentioned anymore. I broke the pattern. It was hard but I did it. However, I still now do a few things repetitively, which are checking my wallet to make sure I have all of my important IDs with me- I put it in my back pocket after I checked only to check again and I do this more times than is required, check stove tops and toaster before leaving house if I am the only one in the house- I check it and leave the kitchen only to come back and check the door again and stove tops, toaster AGAIN. I don't retake steps anymore, I don't wash my hands anymore, I don't play with doors anymore, this is why I say that I don't have OCD anymore, a lot of the behaviors I don't do anymore.

This is an example of what happened recently. I was in a hotel for a week. On the last day, it took me 1 hour and 30 mins just to get my stuff out of the room on time. What I did to make sure I didn't leave anything behind was a bit extreme to me when I think about it. I knew it was while I was doing it but it was the only way to make sure that I didn't leave anything personal in the room. I crawled on the floor looking for every spot on the carpet just to make sure, crawling backwards, checking under the beds, everything. I did this probably 4 times. Before I closed the door to the room I made sure I had all of my IDs, keys, etc... I checked again right after I closed the door. I checked again 2 more times before the taxi arrived, I checked again after I arrived at the airport like 3 times, etc... I know for a fact that if I am not so careful with my wallet, keys, and other important personal items I have with me at the time that I would easily lose it. So I guess it's beneficial, but a little extreme. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I have derealization. What I see 24/7 looks like a dream, nothing looks real, so I check my personal belongings, put them away, and ask me if I really saw what I saw since it didn't look real. I even go to the extent of touching, rubbing my belongings to make sure they are real. Anybody here who experiences anything similar to this???

Hello,

Yes, actually, I know precisely what you are talking about. The thing that you did in the hotel room might sound silly to others, but I know the thought process that led you to doing it. It's like something that would come to my mind, and I would have had to do it were it not for the therapy that I received many years ago. I do still carry 'small/innocent' obsessive customs, but they do not interfere in my life as much. They are much like the thing that you do with your wallet, for example.

I guess you and I should be prepared for 'relapse' moments, like what happened in the hotel. I must admit that I do sometimes suffer big 'attacks' of OCD, but they are quite rare these days. Instead, I have actually managed to convert OCD into something advantageous. I am doing a research doctorate, for example, and can channel my various obsessive habits towards my work and leave them out of my social life and romantic relationship.

Kevin