Any HOCD suffers have this?

Whenever ANY dude does anything like clear their throat, rub their legs for warmth, rub their beards, etc., they get a groinal response, then immediate anger. I know whenever I get a groinal response from a dude (pretty much 24/7 lately), I get very angry. I have said "###$ you" to like 100 guys and threatened to kill people who gave me a groinal reaction.

Somebody help me here please. Within the past month since I got what I believe to be HOCD, I feel intense groinal reactions around other dudes when it has not been there before. I am 20 years old, always loved women, but since I couldn't get it up that one time (which would have been my first time doing it), I have thought I was gay. I swear this attraction feels so real but whenever the "attraction" comes I get angry at the other man. I have flipped people off, told them to go **** themselves, to kill themselves, etc. This is ruining my life. I don't know if I would want to be with a man, I feel like I do (just within the past month, prior to that, there was nothing). However, I get angry when the thoughts about a dude come up but when thoughts of a girl come up, I welcome them gladly.

-- Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:45 am --

Also, I sometimes think I like the thoughts and will actually do it. WTF??

From my experience, false attraction is very common.
Also when you test yourself, you will get aroused because you are focusing on it.

Just for a little reansurance: sexuality cannot change so if you were straight ghen you'll always be straight.

I know it's not a real attraction, but whenever I get this "attraction", I want to beat the dude up who I'm "attracted" to.

Realy how do you know its not real attraction ?

I've felt this way around practically EVERYBODY. This started a month ago when I was at a party and couldn't get it up with a girl. Prior to this incident, I had not felt this way around the very same people who I have this #######5 ass feeling around now.

-- Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:18 pm --

Also, I do indeed believe it is OCD. My father has OCD and he says he knows that I have OCD. Also, I went to see a councilor last week and she told me its not real because I would have felt this way a long time ago since I'm 20.

And the thought of being with a dude doesn't sit right with me. It feels nauseating.