Pedophillia/POCD/something else ? Plz help

I just dont know anymore...

H-E-L-P

okay hun, I hope you are glad because I just created an account expressively to reply to this post. I feel your anxiety and pain! I have been through what you have been through. At first it was intense POCD, and it took all my courage to look up "I'm scared I'm pedo" on google, which naturally brought up results that freaked me out even more. I told my parents about this and they were worried, so i still wasnt calm. EVENTUALLY, i finally came across articles on POCD, and the difference between the two. Pedophiles only rarely cure because of the lack of remorse they have for their actions, they enjoy the thoughts, POCD are simply terrified by the thoughts and will start hating themselves for it (I have another story on that below).... Thats the difference, POCD worry, because ocd is the worry disorder. Pedophiles do not, because they minimize the impact of their actions. My POCD has been on and off for a bit more than a year, and quite honestly seeing a therapist was the best thing that has happened to me, and i really think you should seek help (it should be priority #1, before getting an answer on whether you are or are not, because truth is, you wont, it will come back and the inside debate will go on).... Okay I know this must not be very reassuring. But trust me, how do you think you could act upon thoughts that make you hate yourself so much for? Look up POCD on google, you will probably get a few articles, but then STOP THINKING ABOUT IT, dismiss the thoughts whenever they come up. Get enough sleep, never stay up late trying to convince yourself youre fine (dont do what im doing right now... )...
At some point last year, after having intense POCD phases, I realized the truth probably was that i couldnt compare because i wasnt having any sexual desires at all. It got me very distressed until i found that living that way was possible and alright. And so i came out asexual, to become proud of what i had once worried being, and not stress, but turns out, I wasnt asexual (i found out when i got a girlfriend). So this proves that my thoughts were just thoughts, so since then i consider myself gray-a biseuxal to not worry about it. During my anxieties i went through self-harm issues, and in the end i found out all the sufferings had been for nothing.
The entire process was truly nerve racking, but I have learnt things from it aswell. It has made me very open and accepting. And always eager to help others experiencing the same pain. I am now very tolerant of everyone, no matter their disorders or orientation (because there has been a time where i thought i had different mental disorders).... Just remember, the thoughts are not YOU. Everyone gets thoughts. You just have trouble dealing with them. Stop arguing in your head. just STOP. STOP. STOP i know you can, dismiss the thoughts, and dont let them take over you! Take care my friend! I know you can do this!

Ty very much for replying and creating an account.
I thaught that i was asexual too a few days ago but i didnt care about that. And the worry goes on. Pedo or not...
So as i hear it you have been trough the same and it was POCD so that means i have POCD as well...
But ignoring the thaughts dont work i tried that. Ans then i got dreams....god this sucks...
I will try to do as you said.

I stil cant stand this....

awwww... I have one more thing you can do.. But I understand this may be extremely difficult! But if I've been here and done this, I am sure you can! Talk. That is all I can say. You will feel a great amount of weight be taken off your back. Is there someone you are close to? Is this a parent? A friend? You know they will never let you down no matter what?
I know that as a guy, you may feel like it isnt "manly" to talk about your feelings and especially to your friends (im talking by experience here, so im not judging).. Ive been there aswell, but anyways, if you talk about things like : "Have you ever felt..." "have you ever worried" dont go straight to pedophilia, because its taboo and it might worry people, talk first about other anxieties youve had... At some point, chances are youll be overwhelmed by stress and theyll notice something is wrong. Then say it, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DONT LET THEM ASSUME, explain everything!
Now, that will be very very difficult, I understand, but it will work much better than keeping it inside. I think it is when i started talking about my fears that they started leaving me. And no the internet wont work, you need to do it with real people!
Do you feel ready for this? Now, from now on... I want you to stop googling for pedophilia, POCD fine, but never pedophilia.. And whenever you feel nervous. Dont surf the net, plug in a microphone to your computer and talk saying all you are feeling right now, going on and on of whats going on in your head, if you dont want to talk aloud of what you are feeling, take out a piece of paper and write it all out. DONT THROW IT OUT! keep them, and as it goes on, you will start exteriorizing your anxieties and slowly but surely stop worrying, you can reread or relisten to them, and in times of panic, write letters to people you trust. It is great help, trust me, and you will bond very much along the way.
Then again, feel free to post again if you have any questions.
Dont let the POCD take over, continue living your life! No matter what!

i'll try the paper thing, but i dont realy have someone to talk about ( only 1 friend and not realy a good friend) and i dont trust people (i just cant trust them).

so you are realy sure that this is POCD ? because i ahev never been diagnosed with it....


ps: i'm one of the guys that doesnt feel uncomfortable talking about his feelings

POCD is a form of obsession related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Generally, you will not be diagnosed with one obsession or another, they will group them all up in "sexual obsessions" or "fear of harming obsessions". Or "thought rumination". You need to concentrate on the stopping the rumination rather than on the actual in mind debate. Be strong man! Hope things are gonna get better!

I have bern diagnosef with OCD and am taking fluoxetine 20mg
But i fear that i could have both POCD and pedophillia.
This feels so fkng real...

reading your posts is like listening to my mind... im going through the same thing