Do I have OCD? If so how severe is it?

So, I've never been diagnosed and just recently I think I found the answer to my strange behavior that plagued me as a child and still irretates me today.

I'm 16, and here's basically what's wrong with me. Every since I could remember, I have had to do things, random things, just to get the haunting thought to go away. Like I will get a thought of something I have to do, usually not a task more like flexing a muscle or screaching out loud. And it's usually pain-involved. Like I have to clench my abdominal muscles until it hurts. I would used to have to have to scream as a child, for no reason. The compulsion to feel pain in a certain spot of my body wont leave until I do it, it becomes all I think about. And if I don't do it, I feel like it's getting harder to breath almost sometimes. other times I would have to bang my head in a swift manner until I could feel my brain jostle in my skull. So definitely a lot of it is pain-based, I have to feel some sort of pain for the compulsion to go away.
And also, sometimes I get obsessed with breathing, I can't get breathing off my mind and I can't get breathing back on autopilot again. Sometimes it goes on for hours, where I can't quit thinking about breathing and then it gets harder to breath.

The thigns I did were noticable by my family, and they asked me why I did/do them, but I have no clue at all. I just have to. They have no meaning at all or use.

And also, you know how when you scrape your nails on a chalkboard and it's irretating? Well I have that but, especially as a child, I would have compulsions to scrape things with my nails even though it gave me cold chills and I didn't like it at all. I had to do things like that because the compulsion wouldn't leave, even if I hated doing it a lot.

I've always been able to control the compulsions in public because I have social anxiety disorder, but at home I can't control them. And I don't have the hand washing thing, but I can't have greasy hands or anything, they have to feel right, not to dry, not too wet. And if I have really dirty hands, I have to clean them because it's really irretating.

So do you think I have it? How severe of a case do you think it is?

Hi Coreyx,

A good way of measuring the severity of a problem is by figuring out how much it's interfering and negatively impacting your life.
From your description,it sounds like the answer is quite a bit.
Is there anyone you could talk to, a guidance counselor or a therapist?
I think meeting with someone who is knowledgable and can shed light on your issues could be very beneficial.
What do you think?

Well wishes,

Evol

A therapist could help you identify the haunting thought or thoughts. I'm usually pain avoidant but in group therapy sessions, I have talked to people who induce pain.

Some who have anxiety also have depression. It goes hand in hand. If you are to anxious to things you would like to do, you get depressed. It can become so great that you can lose sense of the feelings..thus "De-pression." Creating pain is like a "reality check..a way of producing feelings.

If you have persistant thoughts that you wish to go away, pain can interrupt those thoughts.

I have so many self condemning thoughts in my head that I can't recognise the thoughts most of the time. If I am idle, I ruminate on what ever those thoughts are and I feel like crap and don't know why. So, I tend to think of things repeatedly, or work so hard to keep my self occupied, that I burn out. I worry over and over until I convince myself that I don't have what it takes to go out in public...so I avoid social situations...but thats me...

This is my opinion, but... it appears like this:

Persistant "haunting" thoughts create a response. The response is to feel pain and focus on breathing. A focus on mortality? Keeping yourself occupied to keep from thinking about persistant thoughts. It might not be a bad idea if you try to figure out what those haunting thoughts are in a diary. If you do it enough, you can tell yourself that those thoughts are in the diary now! I can take a break from them. I won't lose them...because they are in my diary...

Just a thought...

A therapist can help you work through the thoughts, find out why they "haunt", and create a plan on how to deal with them. If the thoughts no longer "haunt" you, then you might be able to stop creating pain and break the constant focus on breathing..and find relief...

Just thoughts from an anxious person to another. I hope everything can work out for you. God bless.