I think I have it (sorry I sound like everyone else)

I've never posted in this section of the boards. I think I have OCD although it's not as bad as it used to be. I'm 17. When I was in 7th grade my mom got a job, which meant I was responsible for getting up in the mornings. This led me to setting my alarm on my clock for an hour each night before I went to sleep. I would turn it off and on repeatedly until I was on the verge of tears.

At the same time I would come home and check my planner for two hours, then again before I went to bed for about 45 minutes. It was extremely difficult for me, and I spent time in prayer and told my dad and got over it.

Now my thoughts are obsessive. After I have certain conversations I'll sit in my car or pace around my room for an hour or two, replaying it back to me and repeating the same thoughts over and over, pulling at my hair. I do this before certain events as well, in preparation or in anxiety. There are traces of it still there, for instance, I still set my alarm 2 or 3 times. It's not as bad as before, though. Except in place of those things I've developed other, worse things, such as this phobia that's debilitating and irrational and won't go away no matter how many hours I spend worrying. I also have been praying but I haven't made much progress.

-Andrew

I don't know if you're ocd or not. I don't think I have it. I've never been diagnosed with any mental thing. But I can relate to your post.

I check my alarm clock over and over as well. Sometimes I try not to do it, but I'm always afraid that it won't wake me up. So I keep checking it.

I also check the locks a few times a night, but I wouldn't say I'm obsessive about that.

Now my thoughts are obsessive. After I have certain conversations I'll sit in my car or pace around my room for an hour or two, replaying it back to me and repeating the same thoughts over and over, pulling at my hair

I do this also. Every time I talk to someone, I play what I said over and over in my mind. I'm always scared that I said something offensive, or that i sounded stupid. So I replay it over and over and over. Sometiems I even whisper it over and over and over. When I was little, my sister laughed at me for doing it, and I denied it, because I didn't realize that I did it. But I know I do now.

That kind of thing can get really old after a while!! Well, now you have two people praying for you, because you're praying about it and I am too. Have you talked to your doctor about it? You may have OCD. I wouldn't know, but anyway.

I had a piano competition a few weeks ago, and I had to have sticky notes, paper clips, my music, and I had to have all of the mesures numbered. I checked OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER, to make sure I had it all. Even after I knew from the first 10 times, I had to keep checking. I think that was probably jsut because I was nervous about the whole competition though. I made the best score though!! Haha, but anyway, I can relate to what you said a lot.

Aren't you also in the sczit....(sorry, but I can't spell worth a flip) forum? I thought I saw you there.

So are you a Christian? You mentioned praying about it, so I was just wondering.

cya later. :0)

~element

I do this also. Every time I talk to someone, I play what I said over and over in my mind. I'm always scared that I said something offensive, or that i sounded stupid. So I replay it over and over and over. Sometiems I even whisper it over and over and over. When I was little, my sister laughed at me for doing it, and I denied it, because I didn't realize that I did it. But I know I do now.

That kind of thing can get really old after a while!! Well, now you have two people praying for you, because you're praying about it and I am too. Have you talked to your doctor about it? You may have OCD. I wouldn't know, but anyway.

I had a piano competition a few weeks ago, and I had to have sticky notes, paper clips, my music, and I had to have all of the mesures numbered. I checked OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER, to make sure I had it all. Even after I knew from the first 10 times, I had to keep checking. I think that was probably jsut because I was nervous about the whole competition though. I made the best score though!! Haha, but anyway, I can relate to what you said a lot.

Aren't you also in the sczit....(sorry, but I can't spell worth a flip) forum? I thought I saw you there.

So are you a Christian? You mentioned praying about it, so I was just wondering.

cya later. :0)

~element[/quote]

I talk out loud to myself, too, especially when I'm in my car replaying conversations. I have to be very stern at myself because I'm so stubborn at stopping thinking about everything.

Thanks for praying for me! I haven't talked to my doctor about it, I haven't even told my parents (except for a few years ago, but my dad dismissed it as a quirk of mine. I honestly believe that if I tell my parents my problems they'll just dismiss it or not understand it).

Yep, I check things just like you. I check my name on my paper before I turn it in many times, and then when I turn it in I'm tempted to (sometimes I do) get up and check it some more. Yes, I'm also in the Schizophrenia forum, too. I am a Christian!

Thank you for your response, and I'll be praying for you, too!

Andrew

Sorry, the above post might be confusing. I quoted you but I forgot to add the quote tag at the top so you may think you're reading what I said but you're reading what you said. My talking starts where the [/quote] is (you probably already figured this out)

-Andrew

I dont feel the urge to check everything over and over again.. though i try to because i always forget something.. but i do repeat conversations i had with people in my mind, over and over again, because im scared i said something stupid or did something wrong.. i always do something wrong..

well im 2 confused to type more of a responce at the moment, and you and element are having a good convo so i will quitly slither away and let you 2 talk.

Hey Tortured_mind:

i always do something wrong..

I must disagree with you on that!!

Hello Andrew:
I do the same thing with checking my name on my paper!! I don't know why I do it, but I never thought anyone else did!!

Maybe you should just tell your parents. If they don't make a big deal out of it, then let them know that it's bothering you, and you really wish you could talk to someone about it. Do you have a psychiatrist or anyone like that that you are talking to?

Imma Christian too!

I could go on and on with a list of things that I do, that are somewhat strange, but I don't think I will right now. I don't really ahve the time. :0)

I will share this one though. When I write letters or e-mails I check over and over to make sure I'm sending it to the correct person and that I signed my name correctly.

~element

Tortured_Mind wrote:I dont feel the urge to check everything over and over again.. though i try to because i always forget something.. but i do repeat conversations i had with people in my mind, over and over again, because im scared i said something stupid or did something wrong.. i always do something wrong..

well im 2 confused to type more of a responce at the moment, and you and element are having a good convo so i will quitly slither away and let you 2 talk.

Heh, it's pretty lame but right now I'm reading every word you said over and over again, trying to make sense of every word (not that it doesn't make sense, but that's just what I do when something even possibly important is being said to me). It's comforting knowing that I'm not the only one, even though I don't repeat stuff in my head because I think I said something wrong, I do it because I don't want to miss a thing, especially something important.

element wrote:Hey Tortured_mind:

i always do something wrong..

I must disagree with you on that!!

Hello Andrew:
I do the same thing with checking my name on my paper!! I don't know why I do it, but I never thought anyone else did!!

Maybe you should just tell your parents. If they don't make a big deal out of it, then let them know that it's bothering you, and you really wish you could talk to someone about it. Do you have a psychiatrist or anyone like that that you are talking to?

Imma Christian too!

I could go on and on with a list of things that I do, that are somewhat strange, but I don't think I will right now. I don't really ahve the time. :0)

I will share this one though. When I write letters or e-mails I check over and over to make sure I'm sending it to the correct person and that I signed my name correctly.

~element

That's so great that I'm not the only one (and at the same time, not very good)! I don't have any psychiatrist to talk to.

About telling my parents, I'm either afraid they won't make anything of it, or they'll make too big a deal out of it! I don't want them to get upset. I was also worried they wouldn't understand because they're Christian, like me, but I figured they might know something about psychiatrists that I don't that makes them not like them, but you're a Christian, too! I'm just working up the courage to tell them something is wrong. I hope I do soon, because I keep trying to convince myself that none of it is real.

We all have strange things we do, and I could go on and on, too! There are some things I do that I don't know if I'd ever tell them my parents. I've gotten better with letting stuff go but one thing I've discovered over the years is that after I conquer some struggle (like setting my alarm clock), ANOTHER compulsion occurs. It's been a terrible never-ending cycle that won't go away. I just never knew there was a name for it. I just thought I was a worrywart

Andrew

Anonymous wrote:

Tortured_Mind wrote:I dont feel the urge to check everything over and over again.. though i try to because i always forget something.. but i do repeat conversations i had with people in my mind, over and over again, because im scared i said something stupid or did something wrong.. i always do something wrong..

well im 2 confused to type more of a responce at the moment, and you and element are having a good convo so i will quitly slither away and let you 2 talk.

Heh, it's pretty lame but right now I'm reading every word you said over and over again, trying to make sense of every word (not that it doesn't make sense, but that's just what I do when something even possibly important is being said to me). It's comforting knowing that I'm not the only one, even though I don't repeat stuff in my head because I think I said something wrong, I do it because I don't want to miss a thing, especially something important.

The above post is me, Andrew.

Hey Andrew (btw, I love the name Andrew )

That's so great that I'm not the only one (and at the same time, not very good)! I don't have any psychiatrist to talk to.

About telling my parents, I'm either afraid they won't make anything of it, or they'll make too big a deal out of it! I don't want them to get upset. I was also worried they wouldn't understand because they're Christian, like me, but I figured they might know something about psychiatrists that I don't that makes them not like them, but you're a Christian, too! I'm just working up the courage to tell them something is wrong. I hope I do soon, because I keep trying to convince myself that none of it is real.

We all have strange things we do, and I could go on and on, too! There are some things I do that I don't know if I'd ever tell them my parents. I've gotten better with letting stuff go but one thing I've discovered over the years is that after I conquer some struggle (like setting my alarm clock), ANOTHER compulsion occurs. It's been a terrible never-ending cycle that won't go away. I just never knew there was a name for it. I just thought I was a worrywart

Andrew

i can definately relate to this!!!

I didn't want to tell my parents about my depression and suicidal thoughts, but I finally somehow got the courage (or the stupidity j/k of course) to tell my mom who told my dad. They apparently just thought it was normal, but they did get all emotional about it. Talk about embarrassing!! I terribly embarrassed. My parents have never really been t he type to just think my sister or I needed to go to a therapist or something of that sort.

But, Andrew, i believe that if you told your paretns, and you let them know taht you want to see a psychiatrist, I think they'd help.

I kind of forgot why you are on the schizophrenia forum, but if you're over there because you're seeing or hearing things, then that's another reason that you should have a talk with your parents about it. If you're nervous or scared about it, it may help you to just talk to one parent, and then to tell the other. And I will pray that God will give you courage, because sometimes talking to our parents can be terrifying. NOt trying to scared you, but really I'm just trying to let you know that I know how you feel.

~element