Compulsive pattern making

I'm not sure if this is the correct place to be posting this as i am not sure if i have OCD or not, i would just like to get some opinions and/or hear from people with similar experiences if possible.

Ever since a very young age i have compulsively made patterns in my head within objects i see around me. The shapes are usually squares or rectangles, eg windows or television screens but they are also sometimes organic, eg peoples' faces.

The patterns don't manifest themselves visually, i just picture them in my head. There are three patterns i do over and over almost constantly especially when i'm bored and they are at their worst when i am alone and bored.

Even though i have had this habit my whole life i haven't seen it as a problem until recently. I have been having trouble sleeping because my brain wont "switch off" because i can't stop making the patterns inside my head (with my eyes closed, not inside shapes per usual) and i have trouble concentrating and i seem forgetful because when people tell me something i am not listening to what they're saying because i am focusing on the patterns so much, so if they bring up the conversation later i have little reccolection of it.

If you have any questions, please ask. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Anybody at all?

Hello!
Since it bothers you, I do think it is OCD. If it were simply a pastime that you could "switch off" at any time, it probably wouldn't distub you and keep you from sleeping etc.
I have to say that I do similar things which are, as I see it; rudiments of my childhood OCD about arranging everything into square patterns, very much resembling what you describe. But today it simply develps unconsciously in my mind and it doesn't disturb me at all.

Hope I've helped you

Well, I have counted things in my head all my life, panes in a window, ceiling fan blades,anything with a panel, segment, but the funny thing is, it ALWAYS has to end in an even number or I will count in a way to make it even.It is very subconscious.Never considered it a problem since I kept it in my head until I jokingly told a friend one day & she admitted doing the same & told me she was diagnosed with OCD & even gave me literature.So I think my compulsion is counting.

this could be some milder form of OCD. in more severe cases, the compulsions are very physical - for example, having to circle around a room 10 times exactly before you exit. in these cases, the person with OCD has a lot of trouble functioning in basic tasks, like getting from point A to point B.

if this interferes with your sleep, it might also be kind of serious. take a look at the OCD literature and see what kind of coping strategies there are. in general, there is no "cure" for OCD, but many people use sheer will power and lots of practice-feedback to manage the OCD via internal negotiation with the thoughts in the brain that are driving these compulsions.

It sounds like OCD, because it is repetitive and involuntary. It might be a obsessional thought rather than a mental compulsion, although I'm not really sure on the difference between the two.

If you did it for enjoyment rather than need than it would not be OCD, therefore it wouldn't form a symptom of a disorder. I think it is best to concentrate on something else, rather than trying to get rid of the thoughts. I spent a lot of time trying to suppress my thoughts in the past and I can say from experience that this doesn't work and only increases your anxiety...So my advice would to not do that, but to go with the thoughts.

Ecco wrote:It sounds like OCD, because it is repetitive and involuntary. It might be a obsessional thought rather than a mental compulsion, although I'm not really sure on the difference between the two.

If you did it for enjoyment rather than need than it would not be OCD, therefore it wouldn't form a symptom of a disorder. I think it is best to concentrate on something else, rather than trying to get rid of the thoughts. I spent a lot of time trying to suppress my thoughts in the past and I can say from experience that this doesn't work and only increases your anxiety...So my advice would to not do that, but to go with the thoughts.

Well, my mental counting is not even realized until maybe the 2nd or 3rd time of counting the same thing, I can tell tou how many steps at places I frequent, how many panes in a wooden door & fan blades etc.If it ever went outside of my head, like circling rooms, etc. then I would consider treatment. I have tried stopping myself, & can , but as soon as I let my mind go, it automatically comes back.

You may never see this response as you posted this 2 years ago, but I found great comfort in reading your post because this is EXACTLY what I do. I also make a facial pattern where I count the different lines or features of the face, and in the past 4 years I also added counting the major bones in the body.

One of the interesting things about my pattern making is that I count the lines or parts to the pattern, but am never concerned with the total number... The obsession is with making the pattern. I couldn't tell you off the top of my head how many lines are in the pattern I use to create my room, yet I've created the pattern countless times in my mind.

I saw a psychologist and a psychiatrist four years ago, and I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. I was prescribed a stronger anti-anxiety medication several times, and was even sent to see a specialist to see if I need to be put on any antipsychotics for the OCD (At no point were they afraid I had any sort of psychotic disorder. Apparently its not uncommon to use off-label antipsychotics to treat OCD). I only took the anti-anxiety meds for a year before quitting. My insurance stopped paying for my visits, and they wouldn't prescribe the medication unless I continued seeing both the psychologist and psychiatrist.

Either way, I just thought I'd share that in case any one else ever runs into this thread. Good luck to anyone with a similar problem.

Well, believe it or not--I just happened to visit & read your post. I forgot to include the fact that when I do count things it always has to come out EVEN in # or I figure a way to make it be even. If you tell people this stuff they just look at you and smile & mentally put you on some weird list. I have counted eyes nose & mouth, that makes 5 if i include the entire face but then I am stuck with the coming out even stuff. lol I'm not taking meds for this. I already take meds for thyroid & HBP & Wellbutrin. I am on enough pills. But the face counting & lines is different. It has to be some kinda anxiety thing, this counting, huh? Maybe trying to keep some kinda order in our minds? What do you think?

I too have this disorder. Yes, everything needs to end up being even numbers - but I have a easy solution to the problem, I count using "twos"... so the eyes are counted at 2 each, nose is 2, and mouth is two - a really wide mouth is two twos... a scar is an extra two... No matter how many features I count, I always end up as an even number... Counting with twos is the key. It is distracting, I can't consume much info being told to me if I am counting. Sometimes I'm counting when I'm face to face talking to you, that's why I'm disengaged in some conversations. Basically, it happens when I'm not interested in a specific subject - like waiting for something, driving down a boring road and counting stuff, etc. I always thought I had an Attention Disorder, numbers were calming to me, mainly because they didn't change and had little variance. I could depend on numbers. On, BTW, I'm really good in business - I credit it to focusing on numbers.

At night I usually can only get to sleep if I'm exhausted, or things buzz in my head all night long - keeping me awake. I thought it was insomnia. Only sex, beer, or a boring movie solves the noise (note, been married forever - so sex usually doesn't happen very often, I don't drink much beer, so I've invested in a nice bedroom TV with a sleep mode that I use religiously).

However, I've met other people with the same disorder and we shared "weaknesses". One weakness is that none of us could remember names very easily, wanted to be in Plays but couldn't remember our parts, but we can remember "circumstances" second by second. It's like our brains are hard drives and we fill them with all of this counting junk whereas we can't remember other things. I play in a band and have major trouble remembering words to the songs - it is a MAJOR pain.

I'm now 52 and I'm finding doing Sudoku and some card games really keeps my mind much sharper.

I'm hoping it does not get worse as I get older, but haven't met anyone older than me with it, or at least they are too wise to admit it. I've never been to a doctor about it and never taken any drugs for it. My insurance is crap - so I go as few times as possible to see a doctor.

If you are older than 52 and have something like this, please advise if it gets worse or better with time. Also, it doesn't matter what my diet is, I have the problem. It does seem the more tired I am, the worse it is... However, if I am busy with something, I don't notice it at all - it's only when I'm not focused.