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Is this OCD?

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Is this OCD?

Postby rainbow21 » Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:04 pm

Hey guys. I have described this on another topic. This is something that gives me great anxiety. I have unwanted terrible thoughts of hurting people. My family. People that I love. I can't prevent these thoughts, they just enter my mind and I literally see myself hurting them. It's terrible when I'm near knives. This just started one day. I dont know what's happening to me. I have went to the ER twice because of this and Im on my meds. I upped the dosage yesteday by doctor's order. I'm on 4mg of Risperidal and 50mg of Sertraline. I didnt ask what it was that I have since in emergency therapy I doubt they can have a full diagnosis. I have a normal doctor's apointment in a week. I hope I can hold on until then.
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Postby two_roads » Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:14 am

Hi rainbow,

I am sorry you are having these violent intrusive thoughts. I know it can suck up your life energy and deform your personality.

If it is a consolation, some psychiatric studies suggest that the kind of thoughts you are having are "healthy", and many people who have them never become violent for real. On the contrary, the experiment has shown that the people who were violent or murderous in reality had never had those thoughts.

It is just thoughts, try disregarding them. They come, you become aware of them, and then just ignore them -redirect your focus onto something else, immediately.

Have you had any sort of trauma 4 -12 months before this started? E.g. - were you feeling repressed by your parents, or jealous of your sibling, or abused by your friends, boss, teacher (not sure how old you are)?
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Re: ...

Postby rainbow21 » Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:48 am

two_roads wrote:Hi rainbow,

I am sorry you are having these violent intrusive thoughts. I know it can suck up your life energy and deform your personality.

If it is a consolation, some psychiatric studies suggest that the kind of thoughts you are having are "healthy", and many people who have them never become violent for real. On the contrary, the experiment has shown that the people who were violent or murderous in reality had never had those thoughts.

It is just thoughts, try disregarding them. They come, you become aware of them, and then just ignore them -redirect your focus onto something else, immediately.

Have you had any sort of trauma 4 -12 months before this started? E.g. - were you feeling repressed by your parents, or jealous of your sibling, or abused by your friends, boss, teacher (not sure how old you are)?


Theu sure don't seem healthy to me. I just wish they'd go away. No I had no trauma or stress, nothing. They just came up one day. This is terrible for me. It seems like these thoughts are not mine, like they belong to someone else. I'm scared I might lose control one day.
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Re: ...

Postby two_roads » Sat Dec 06, 2008 12:46 pm

rainbow21 wrote:
two_roads wrote:Hi rainbow,

I am sorry you are having these violent intrusive thoughts. I know it can suck up your life energy and deform your personality.

If it is a consolation, some psychiatric studies suggest that the kind of thoughts you are having are "healthy", and many people who have them never become violent for real. On the contrary, the experiment has shown that the people who were violent or murderous in reality had never had those thoughts.

It is just thoughts, try disregarding them. They come, you become aware of them, and then just ignore them -redirect your focus onto something else, immediately.

Have you had any sort of trauma 4 -12 months before this started? E.g. - were you feeling repressed by your parents, or jealous of your sibling, or abused by your friends, boss, teacher (not sure how old you are)?


Theu sure don't seem healthy to me. I just wish they'd go away. No I had no trauma or stress, nothing. They just came up one day. This is terrible for me. It seems like these thoughts are not mine, like they belong to someone else. I'm scared I might lose control one day.


In the experiment I mentioned, a professor took a group of students, and asked each of them whether they ever have such violence thoughts. Many of them answered "yes" : e.g. thoughts of torturing animals, kids, family, friends etc..

Now, the context will definitely reveal whether it is a pathological thought, or just an impulse. It is mainly related to the frequency of these thoughts. How frequent are they?

Your feeling that you may lose control it is precisely what this study indicated as a healthy factor. I know it sounds paradoxical and crazy, but, if you think deeper, it makes sense.

Thoughts can merely be impulses and projections, mental pictures. They don't necessarily have to be fuel for your actions.

On the contrary, thought is the enemy of action ( Shakespeare)

This said, your having these thoughts may be precisely the thing that will block your taking action about it.

Please, note this is just my opinion, and not a diagnosis. Perhaps it could get you think more positively about your condition.

I also had these thoughts, but they mainly occurred in the time of stress and emotional suffering. And I never, ever, took any violent actions about it, and was never violent physically.

I was surprised once when this thought came to me out of the blue, about torturing my dog, and I adore my dog. I think it is divine. But then I realized it was just an impulse and it happened because my self-esteem hit the bottom.

I haven't had these thoughts in years and was never on meds about this. However, reading studies and psych books related to this topic helped me a lot in my self-healing.

Best,
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Re: ...

Postby rainbow21 » Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:41 pm

two_roads wrote:
rainbow21 wrote:
two_roads wrote:Hi rainbow,

I am sorry you are having these violent intrusive thoughts. I know it can suck up your life energy and deform your personality.

If it is a consolation, some psychiatric studies suggest that the kind of thoughts you are having are "healthy", and many people who have them never become violent for real. On the contrary, the experiment has shown that the people who were violent or murderous in reality had never had those thoughts.

It is just thoughts, try disregarding them. They come, you become aware of them, and then just ignore them -redirect your focus onto something else, immediately.

Have you had any sort of trauma 4 -12 months before this started? E.g. - were you feeling repressed by your parents, or jealous of your sibling, or abused by your friends, boss, teacher (not sure how old you are)?


Theu sure don't seem healthy to me. I just wish they'd go away. No I had no trauma or stress, nothing. They just came up one day. This is terrible for me. It seems like these thoughts are not mine, like they belong to someone else. I'm scared I might lose control one day.


In the experiment I mentioned, a professor took a group of students, and asked each of them whether they ever have such violence thoughts. Many of them answered "yes" : e.g. thoughts of torturing animals, kids, family, friends etc..

Now, the context will definitely reveal whether it is a pathological thought, or just an impulse. It is mainly related to the frequency of these thoughts. How frequent are they?

Your feeling that you may lose control it is precisely what this study indicated as a healthy factor. I know it sounds paradoxical and crazy, but, if you think deeper, it makes sense.

Thoughts can merely be impulses and projections, mental pictures. They don't necessarily have to be fuel for your actions.

On the contrary, thought is the enemy of action ( Shakespeare)

This said, your having these thoughts may be precisely the thing that will block your taking action about it.

Please, note this is just my opinion, and not a diagnosis. Perhaps it could get you think more positively about your condition.

I also had these thoughts, but they mainly occurred in the time of stress and emotional suffering. And I never, ever, took any violent actions about it, and was never violent physically.

I was surprised once when this thought came to me out of the blue, about torturing my dog, and I adore my dog. I think it is divine. But then I realized it was just an impulse and it happened because my self-esteem hit the bottom.

I haven't had these thoughts in years and was never on meds about this. However, reading studies and psych books related to this topic helped me a lot in my self-healing.

Best,


Hm I do understand your point. I try to be positive about my condition but it's very difficult when Im having these thoughts all the time. I think it might related to stress because of college but right now Im more stressed about my condition than anything else.
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Postby two_roads » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:00 pm

Yes, exactly, I was also having the thoughts while I was at the Uni plus was a part-time worker, so had my exams and job as a big burden. Plus emotional stress because I had b/f problems etc.

Now that I matured, and became more aware of myself and other people, I have more control over my life, thoughts and emotions.

Do you have a history of being violent, ever?
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Postby rainbow21 » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:01 pm

two_roads wrote:Yes, exactly, I was also having the thoughts while I was at the Uni plus was a part-time worker, so had my exams and job as a big burden. Plus emotional stress because I had b/f problems etc.

Now that I matured, and became more aware of myself and other people, I have more control over my life, thoughts and emotions.

Do you have a history of being violent, ever?


Well not exactly violent. I always had somewhat of a short fuse and snap easily at people but I was never physically violent with anyone.
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Postby two_roads » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:10 pm

rainbow21 wrote:
Well not exactly violent. I always had somewhat of a short fuse and snap easily at people but I was never physically violent with anyone.


Aha, now we have a proof.

You can't prove you are losing control to the point of becoming physically violent, right? Because it has never happened.

To me, it looks like you require anger management and stress relief program, big time. Try things like karate practices and other fighting sports.
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Postby rainbow21 » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:12 pm

two_roads wrote:
rainbow21 wrote:
Well not exactly violent. I always had somewhat of a short fuse and snap easily at people but I was never physically violent with anyone.


Aha, now we have a proof.

You can't prove you are losing control to the point of becoming physically violent, right? Because it has never happened.

To me, it looks like you require anger management and stress relief program, big time. Try things like karate practices and other fighting sports.


But I'm still scared of losing control...
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Postby two_roads » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:18 pm

rainbow21 wrote:
two_roads wrote:
rainbow21 wrote:
Well not exactly violent. I always had somewhat of a short fuse and snap easily at people but I was never physically violent with anyone.


Aha, now we have a proof.

You can't prove you are losing control to the point of becoming physically violent, right? Because it has never happened.

To me, it looks like you require anger management and stress relief program, big time. Try things like karate practices and other fighting sports.


But I'm still scared of losing control...


yes, that's ok.

psychotic patients who actually kill someone for real are always "tripping" how those people deserved to die.

I see you are aware that your thoughts are irrational. It's a good sign.

however, i still highly suggest that you see your therapist regularly.
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