Ok, I got this problem that every word I say or read, I feel this urge to repeat in my head or say.
Whenever I try to repeat it in my head it feels like it was not said right so I have to say it under my
breath and after I do that I still feel like I can never say it right. I feel like I can say it right, if my
mind was not blocking me from saying the real things I want to say. I don't know why but it always feels like
my mind is trying to do the opposite of what I want, and in this case I want to say the word right but my mind
does the opposite. Sometimes, usually when I'am reminded about something unpleasent that I don't wanna think about
the thing will get stuck in my head, and if I want something to get stuck in my head, the thing will absolutely not stay
in my head. Whenever things get stuck in my head that could cause something to happen, I try to counter them with a thought,
but afterwards I end up feeling terribly worried that the thought will come back and that I never could really push away the
thought. It feels like it gets in the way of everything I try to read. I can't understand it, I can't enjoy it or remember it. Anything that involves words reminds me of this dreadful feeling except when it involves someone else talking. I fear that soon my mind will corrupt my ability to process words I hear. I don't wanna think about how my mind can learn to corrupt the words I hear because if I think about it my mind will know how to do it, and it will start blocking the things I hear to. I don't think I have any real compulsion besides thoughts(and I think thoughts cannot be considered a compulsion) although I often
have to mutter the thing I read under my breath a few times before I can feel that my brain has not blocked it.
I told my mom about this and she said it was healthy and I'am just worrying too much and that I should go outside and
get some excersize? But it does not feel normal to me and I figure since she does not know much about the symptoms of mental illnesses she would probably not know, so can you guys give me a second opinion am I worrying too much or is it possible that it is OCD? I don't wanna force her to take me to a therapist if there is nothing wrong, I would feel like a drama king.