HOCD spike over comment by colleague

I'm an assistant coach at a jiu-jitsu academy and opened the academy for an open training session this past weekend. A lady came in at the end of class to do a few minutes of cardio kickboxing and asked another student about the schedule. I was occupied with something else when the student quipped that she should talk to me because I'm the instructor. I informed her of the schedule and told her to come in next week to train. I'll add that she was attractive. She left and my teammate said, "You just missed an opportunity." I said, "I don't crap where I eat."

He left and talked to another student outside and when I looked outside he glanced and smirked at me. The lady that came in had entered her vehicle and stayed for a minute before driving off. I'm concerned that he will say that I'm gay because I didn't ask the lady for her number. I've had spikes throughout the day that folks will assume I'm gay and treat me different, all because I didn't hit on this woman. It sounds far fetched but it's run through my mind. My reasoning is I don't want to creep the lady out asking for her number and all when I'm a coach. It's bad for the academy to hit on students or prospective students. I've always reasoned there are plenty of fish in the ocean.

Well you have no proof that's what they were talking about being gay, and that's not the kind of thing you can control, anyway. You had perfectly legit reasons for not hitting on her.

I don't think that makes you a weirdo, or anything, but do try to keep that relationship professional. And as for HOCD, OCD can pick up on any action that you commit for illogical reasons. As others say, it is a DOUBTING disorder.

Snaga wrote:Well you have no proof that's what they were talking about being gay, and that's not the kind of thing you can control, anyway. You had perfectly legit reasons for not hitting on her.

Thanks for the response. I haven't thought about it much as it occurred 2 weeks ago. May will mark 18 years since HOCD afflicted me, but I've done fairly well handling it since 2022.

One thing I'll note, is that if folks get the idea you're a bit paranoid about certain things, they'll be liable to start to yank your chain with it.

mc1 wrote:He left and talked to another student outside and when I looked outside he glanced and smirked at me.

I've had people glom onto the fact that I was obsessed that I was being talked about and intentionally mess with me to get under my skin. The solution was to do a hard reset and stop showing any interest in glances my way while they were talking to others. The right (wrong?) kind of person will do that just to mess your mind.

Snaga wrote:One thing I'll note, is that if folks get the idea you're a bit paranoid about certain things, they'll be liable to start to yank your chain with it.

mc1 wrote:He left and talked to another student outside and when I looked outside he glanced and smirked at me.

I've had people glom onto the fact that I was obsessed that I was being talked about and intentionally mess with me to get under my skin. The solution was to do a hard reset and stop showing any interest in glances my way while they were talking to others. The right (wrong?) kind of person will do that just to mess your mind.

I can't let my mind get the better of me. I'm jumping to conclusions without a shred of evidence.