Reminders on how to practice ERP for Pure-O?

Hello!

For the record, I am an ex-HOCD sufferer. I have not officially been diagnosed, but I was here years ago, about 2015, because I had what I could only consider "HOCD". I used to ruminate, check images, groinal response, visit this forum frequently, all that good stuff. I suffered in silence for almost a year. I never sought official help, but instead did my best to practice mindfulness and how to do ERP on my own from what I learned online. It took a long time. It was slow and uncomfortable, but I did recover! Those thoughts that used to send me into a panic attack no longer bother me. I remember thinking how I'd be stuck like that forever. I wish I could access my old posts, but I don't even know if my account is around anymore. Either way, I'm HOCD free! So it is possible and it gets better. Just have to put in the painstaking work.

I truly thought this was a weird one-off thing in my life. Maybe I didn't have OCD but maybe a general anxiety disorder, so once that had stopped bothering me, I stopped worrying about it and thought I returned to 'normal'. But years later, I'm beginning to think I should seek professional help, because I fear I've adopted a new obsession.

It gets worse and worse everday as I try to rationalize it. I don't want to go into too much detail about it because I am not seeking reassurance, but it's basically a form of "relationship" OCD and a fear of my partner changing. The thoughts are a bit specific, but they did not bother me once upon a time, and I'd like to return to that. If I've conquered Pure-O once I can do it again, but I've just forgotten how.

Does anyone have any advice, steps I should follow, anything I can read or watch to help me out? The best I remember is that I would just "agree" with the thoughts and let them go, but I know there was more to that. Any help is appreciated! Thank you!

Hello PS

I think it is called ROCD, with relationships being the theme. And, as I have said in other threads, at the heart of it, when we suffer anxiety the theme really doesn't matter because the anxiety will leap from leap theme to theme because the anxiety is present.

But I understand this issue is particular to you. If you have assessed that your thoughts are irrational and part of anxiety, that's half the battle. And you are correct in thinking that one of the ways to combat these kinds of things is to just "agree" with the thought and move on. I tell myself to play through it.

I have a big question for you. Does your partner know you suffer from anxiety, the kind of sort that can produce OCD symptoms?

I wish I could access my old posts, but I don't even know if my account is around anymore.

It should be pretty easy to find your old posts, just search your old username and when you find one just click on the username to view your profile.