ZOCD? I feel so bad about this. (Tw)

So... I always loved animals, for as long as I can remember. I've been exposed to bestiality videos when I was younger and that kinda triggered my zocd but as I was so young, I didn't really mind.

Right now I'm was doing one of the things I enjoy doing the most: studying! I want to be a marine biologist, I'm really fascinated about the creatures in the sea, I know a lot about marine animals and I adore them, I think they're so interesting and cute...
But I had to read about dolphins reproduction, and as everyone already knows, dolphins are able to catch feelings for humans and get aroused by humans as well. I didn't think too much about it because I already knew this, I was just making sure the information was fresh in my memory but for some reason now I feel weird, as if I would like these kind of things with dolphins or something like that

and it's stressing me out so bad, I'm scared of this being my real feelings and I'm scared of hurting animals, I don't even want to be a marine biologist anymore.
The worst part about it is that I feel that this is stressing me because I can't stop thinking about it, yet I'm not experiencing anxiety so I feel even worse, as if this was real.

I'm curious to know in what way you'd harm a dolphin even if you had a kinky thought or two.

Try to look at this like it wasn't you having these worries. Give them the consideration they deserve- none. Everyone's going to get weird/kinky/taboo thoughts at one time or another it doesn't have to mean a thing, and it's tragic to make yourself make it mean something, and lose interest in a chosen career.