Spiked reading about mixed-orientation marriage

Hello, I'm a 35 year old man that's suffered HOCD since 2006. 16 years of spikes and anxiety that have slowly receded over the past 2-3 years. Today I read about mixed-orientation marriages, in which both partners are of different sexual orientations. I spiked when I read that some people have strictly heterosexual thoughts, that slowly turn gay after the marriage.

I've long believed that sexual orientation doesn't change and it's fixed early in adolescence. However, reading articles like this cause me to question my orientation and if I'm living a lie or holding onto a pipe dream. I've liked women all my life and desired to date or be with a man. However, the spikes when I see nice looking men throw me off. Reading this article didn't help, though after 16 years, I won't waste my time doing further research.

mc1 wrote: I spiked when I read that some people have strictly heterosexual thoughts, that slowly turn gay after the marriage.

I call bullcrap on that. I don't believe it, not a bit. Even if that's not outright obfuscation on the part of the one in the relationship with the alternate sexuality, I find it hard to believe that there hasn't been something else going on in the shadows, something deeply sat on, something. I don't believe they just 'go gay' like that.

Snaga wrote:

mc1 wrote: I spiked when I read that some people have strictly heterosexual thoughts, that slowly turn gay after the marriage.

I call bullcrap on that. I don't believe it, not a bit. Even if that's not outright obfuscation on the part of the one in the relationship with the alternate sexuality, I find it hard to believe that there hasn't been something else going on in the shadows, something deeply sat on, something. I don't believe they just 'go gay' like that.

I thought the same thing for years. It seems strange that a straight man who exclusively dates women, marries a woman and then 5 years into the marriage says, "Naww, this ain't me, I'm into guys."

Too strange. There was already something in a man's past, or something repressed, in my opinion. Some guys manage to keep a tight grip on it; some go on the down low; and some just burst open.

Snaga wrote:Too strange. There was already something in a man's past, or something repressed, in my opinion. Some guys manage to keep a tight grip on it; some go on the down low; and some just burst open.

I agree with you on this. My HOCD turns my spikes into "evidence" that I'm repressing my "true" feelings. Though if I were gay, I'd have known years ago.