Does it mean it's not OCD?

I think I might have OCD. I can't afford a therapist and psychiatrists are impossible to meet in my city. Since the first days, I was almost always horrified by the thoughts, except for some days where I was mostly desensitized.

The last Friday, I had a bad morning with anxiety but I managed to fall asleep and dream well, I don't remember but it was fine. But then an intrusive image came in my dream, but contrarily other times, I wasn't scared by it. I was having a good dream and I didn't feel bad when the image came. Except that I wake up truly scared, wondering if it's because I like the thoughts.

Also, when I didn't know about OCD, I self harmed myself because of the panic and anxiety (it's like skin stretching, I always have done that so it's not new). But then felt horrible, the body part I self harmed is related to my obsession, so I was wondering if it was a proof.

Are all of this normal?