Not sure if HOCD or in denial/closet

I also have noticed that whenever I see anything sexual or an attractive woman I start to get a spike in anxiety leading to questions like 'I wish I could have this' or 'why are you looking at her like that you shouldn't be doing that' and a bunch of things like that and it is becoming more common nowadays than even a month ago. I assume that this would be part an parcel of OCD/SO-OCD, correct?

Well it sounds as if you're being hyperaware and over-thinking all your thoughts and actions....

Well, I got a new thing to obsess and stress over for the time being... I got a navage nasal cleaner which is basically a neti pot and I washed and rinsed it out, but I only let it dry for about 30 minutes before I used it and I put in a bottle of Aquafina which isn't that part I'm worried about. I'm mainly obsessing and worrying about the leftover droplets of tap water that were still in the tank when I put the bottled water in and now I'm absolutely terrified I got those brain-eating amoebas...

geasu wrote:now I'm absolutely terrified I got those brain-eating amoebas...

Unless it's a Florida pond, I don't think you have anything to worry about....

geasu wrote:leftover droplets of tap water

That contains chlorine. Which the Aquafina won't, I might add. I'll also remind you that Aquafina and Dasani are merely locally filtered and bottled tap water....

That contains chlorine.

That is true, but there have been stories of people getting it from tap water and those few cases are apparently enough to make me freak

So I remember when I was a kid and I was constantly trying to get girls online. Now would that be something a gay person would do? And what if I was just doing that because I thought I had to

Does anyone have any input? That surely shouldn't happen correct? Like even if it was something I thought I had to do I wouldn't have kept doing it through the teen years right?

I would suggest not trying to pick apart everything, it never seems to be very productive, unless you consider just getting things turned that much more upside-down, to be productive.

I guess I just want to find evidence and proof to get a concrete answer ending with hopefully being straight. I mean I never once thought about the same sex like that and now all of a sudden NOW it decides to come to my mind? Like this is craziness and it of course makes my early life experiences seem fake or invalidated. But like the previous statement post just doesn't seem like it could happen :/

Is it normal with this to see a straight couple and get jealous and a feeling of hopelessness followed by thoughts like 'I will never know what this is like because I might be gay'