POCD. Something happened thats making me think it is real.

First off, i cant seek therapy right now due to personal reasons. Im not asking for what meds to take or what therapy i should try on myself i just need advice so if you can give me any advice, that would be much appreciated. Ive struggled with POCD for 3 years now. thought i was a pedophile for 2 years and came to terms with it before realising that all that was just my OCD. within those two years where i thought i was a pedo, there were two times where i felt what seemed like attraction to prepubescent kids unprovoked. these attractions lasted like 10-20 mins. keep in mind i havent ever had intense sexual fantasies about kids, never felt an unprovoked urge to do something sexual with a kid even during that 2 year period. and i dont fit the description of a pedophile according to the official DSMV. today however i had a dream where these men were doing things to this kid and i remember i was aroused by it, even in real time because when i woke up, my trousers were slightly wet. if im being honest i dont think it was the fact that it was a child that got me aroused but just the scenario in general, i dont exactly know how to explain it. if i saw something like that in real life i think id actually feel disturbed and wouldnt feel arousal at all to be honest. Can POCD cause dreams like this to happen since Ive heard stories where people have felt intense arousal and even orgasmed to fantasies to do with kids but all of that was caused by their OCD and it turned out they werent pedophiles. i guess im a bit worried because i had HOCD and didnt had crushes or was attracted to guys for years and years and then i had a wet dream to do with guys, so i came out to myself and found out i was bi, which i still feel is true. it worries me because dreams are believed to show your true desires and what not even though i dont fit the traits of a diagnosed pedophile. what do you guys think?

Hello, and welcome!

If you have a history of OCD, chances are that's what it is. You can't go by thoughts that just pop in your head. I've had them around kids, they mean nothing. I do not have a paraphilia, and I know it. I don't lie awake at night pining for a child. When an intrusive thought about a child pops up, I've learned to smack it down pretty fast, lest I let it get under my skin and start doubting myself. It's like my harm OCD- I've had over 40 years of intrusive thoughts about killing pets or loved ones. If in all that time, I haven't done it? Then I'm going to have a little faith, that it's not going to happen. Same with pedo thoughts. My thoughts can't make me do something I don't really want to do.

As far as the HOCD- I've been bisexual since adolescence. Now those thoughts.. yeah I'd really like to act on those. Because I'm really Bi. At what age did you decide you were Bi, and are you sure it's not OCD making you think that? A sexual dream does not a sexuality define. Especially if it was something you were already obsessive over with OCD. It's natural to dream about something that is worrying us.

Now, if you woke up and was all bummed out that it was just a dream, well, I might grant you that. But remember we're sexual creatures, and even things that aren't our core sexuality, will stimulate us on occasion. Doesn't mean it's something we really want to go do.

trickali wrote:First off, i cant seek therapy right now due to personal reasons. Im not asking for what meds to take or what therapy i should try on myself i just need advice so if you can give me any advice, that would be much appreciated. Ive struggled with POCD for 3 years now. thought i was a pedophile for 2 years and came to terms with it before realising that all that was just my OCD. within those two years where i thought i was a pedo, there were two times where i felt what seemed like attraction to prepubescent kids unprovoked. these attractions lasted like 10-20 mins. keep in mind i havent ever had intense sexual fantasies about kids, never felt an unprovoked urge to do something sexual with a kid even during that 2 year period. and i dont fit the description of a pedophile according to the official DSMV. today however i had a dream where these men were doing things to this kid and i remember i was aroused by it, even in real time because when i woke up, my trousers were slightly wet. if im being honest i dont think it was the fact that it was a child that got me aroused but just the scenario in general, i dont exactly know how to explain it. if i saw something like that in real life i think id actually feel disturbed and wouldnt feel arousal at all to be honest. Can POCD cause dreams like this to happen since Ive heard stories where people have felt intense arousal and even orgasmed to fantasies to do with kids but all of that was caused by their OCD and it turned out they werent pedophiles. i guess im a bit worried because i had HOCD and didnt had crushes or was attracted to guys for years and years and then i had a wet dream to do with guys, so i came out to myself and found out i was bi, which i still feel is true. it worries me because dreams are believed to show your true desires and what not even though i dont fit the traits of a diagnosed pedophile. what do you guys think?

I'm so sorry this happened! I've been struggling with POCD for around a month now. Dreams are a reflection of how we fear. You could consider this a nightmare. Last night, I had a dream I was attracted to a child and had that as a fear in my dream. Consider the dream as your OCD intervening. It will do that. Dreams can intensify feelings of lust, or will make up feelings of lust to make you afraid.
You're body just did it's natural response to the dream, and I'm sorry it's confused you so.
I, personally (and unprofessionally), don't believe that would make you a pedophile. But I do understand the overwhelming confusion between what is real and what isn't.
Let the idea rest in your mind and don't think with it, just about it. Soon you'll find it as a passing thought and realize it's obsolete.