Why does it feel like a sacret pact?

Today I told my daughter about how my OCD gets so much better when I am not around much of my family and how it saddens me. She is an adult and this was a rare talk about how my mental health issues has shaped both our lives. She is fine with a normal life and I try to keep talks like that to a minimum.

But talking about my OCD and what the fears are always triggers a night of angst and shame, so here I am not sleeping again. It's like I am being punished by a deep fear of having broken a pact of silence or something like that and I don't know how that pact feeling is related to OCD really. Or what to do about it either. OCD isn't bad at the moment at all but any talk about it triggers these horrible nights still and no therapy has ever made it any better.

Does anyone know this?

Hello and welcome!

While I have a feeling angst and shame are normal emotions to have, when opening up to another about our sometimes fragile state as sufferers of OCD- keep in mind we have OCD.

hopefuldroplets wrote:triggers a night of angs

Try not to let your OCD get away with you over your OCD. I mean, angst is what we do best. It is what it is, and your daughter presumably isn't blind. I mean, my partner knows I'm pretty screwed up I just try to hide the worst of it. I don't particularly like talking about it, either- and hate it more if she talks about it to others and sometimes that's in front of me. I just try to roll with the punches.