Help? (TW// SK//N P//CK//ING, D//ATH, ETC.)

Hello, I have a question that I'd like to ask you guys.

So, context, I have been diagnosed with moderate-to-severe depression and generalized anxiety.

My question is if I should legitimately consult my phycologist about the next few indicators I've caught on to.

1. There are certain numbers that are "bad". 27 is mean to 24, everyone hates 28, 8 is vulgar and loud, and 6 is despicable. 4 seems mediocre but is really violent. They make my skin crawl and unbelievably uncomfortable. I just realized that this wasn't normal a few weeks ago.
2. Coloring outside of the lines is an act of disgrace and disgusting. Whenever I color even an inch outside of the lines, it makes me feel sick.
3. I hate touching contaminated objects. This one doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but I hate touching doorknobs (even before COVID), and shaking hands. Whenever I touch someone's hand(s) I immediately have to wipe their germs off or else I'll feel wrong.
4. Everything has a specific place and it doesn't work unless I fix it or put it there. I have a very big issue with people touching my things. I put them in a nicely arranged order and they have to go there or else it's wrong.
5. I have intrusive thoughts. I have very graphic visuals of m//rder, d//ath, and violent acts, as well as horrendously inappropriate sexually intrusive thoughts. Whenever I have a thought like that I have to take a shower or else I'll feel sick.
6. I have to repeat certain actions. If I don't do something correctly one time, then I have to do it again and again until I get it correct.
7. I have a sk//n p//cking disorder. I can't stop even though I wish I could. My therapist described it as an "obsessive compulsion".
8. I p//ck at my nails and the areas surrounding them when I'm stressed.
9. I can't complete, say, a mobile game level until the previous one gets the maximum score possible.
10. I have a small problem with (kind of) "hoarding". I'm at no level where it has completely destroyed my life, but I collect plastic bottles, business cards, and wrappings of different things.

There might be more, but I have a horrible memory and I block a lot of things out until later.

Thank you,
KittKatt

((P.S. I would bring this up to her, but she made me feel very embarrassed when I talked to her about something else, also I don't want her to think I'm trying to garner attention or anything. I don't think I have OCD, but I want to be sure before I do anything drastic.))

Hello, and welcome!

If she has any experience in OCD, I certainly do think you ought to bring these things up.

Some of what you describe sounds like OCD traits- and some sound almost like OCPD, which is... a different animal. OCD isn't necessarily characterised by things having to be 'just so', but it does happen.

And I also have had many intrusive thoughts over the years, including intrusive harm thoughts such as you describe. Thoughts of killing, or things as silly as inpulsively kissing a person I have no business kissing; shouting obscenities in a house of worship, etc. All.. fairly common for OCD sufferers, I think.

You're already diagnosed with anxiety, so to me you sound as if you could have some OCD going on, certainly.

Tell me, what bad thing will happen if say, the game isn't done perfectly?

Snaga wrote:Hello, and welcome!

If she has any experience in OCD, I certainly do think you ought to bring these things up.

Some of what you describe sounds like OCD traits- and some sound almost like OCPD, which is... a different animal. OCD isn't necessarily characterised by things having to be 'just so', but it does happen.

And I also have had many intrusive thoughts over the years, including intrusive harm thoughts such as you describe. Thoughts of killing, or things as silly as inpulsively kissing a person I have no business kissing; shouting obscenities in a house of worship, etc. All.. fairly common for OCD sufferers, I think.

You're already diagnosed with anxiety, so to me you sound as if you could have some OCD going on, certainly.

Tell me, what bad thing will happen if say, the game isn't done perfectly?

Thank you for the response, I think I will tell my phycologist : )
As for the game, I’m not sure. It just feels very icky and like I’ve done something worth execution.