How to stop impulsively purchasing equipment I need

Snaga wrote:Summer? Does summer make you anxious?

Unfortunately yes. I think the reasons are a bit more... not logical, but in a way perhaps easier to understand.

To better understand the issue, you have to know that I work from home and use the internet for work and to get a lot of the stuff I need. But when summer comes, we can get some pretty hot days. On those days, I have this anxiety that the heat will fry my ISP's stuff and I'll be left without a way to do my job (it's the type of job you just do online and doesn't have a standard counterpart) or get stuff I need/communicate with people.

I know they build things with weather in mind--we had one of the worst storms my area has ever seen in my life last year, and I didn't lose any power but for a few seconds perhaps, though other areas faced longer issues.

But I have this anxiety about it that makes it difficult to truly enjoy summer. I think it is probably because my professional life depends on equipment working, and so much of it seems "sensitive," perhaps. The funny thing is I don't really mind storms, particularly at night. But summer can bring on pretty bad weather in my area, and it's the time of year that we tend to have to deal with funnel clouds and similar extreme events. I've even been extremely near to a tornado before (it was very close and pulling in the car in which I was riding). I think this is also a kind of fear brought on by worry, but I know part of that worry is wondering how I'd deal with that kind of destruction. Even growing up around it (not that it was an extremely frequent occurrence) during summer I worry which storms might bring one close by and how I would deal with it.

I suppose insurance might help alleviate that--which I've recently decided to look into.

The funny thing is that I feel better just being away from that. Even though I am concerned about the destruction, if I physically go elsewhere during the summer, I'm less worried about it, even though doing that doesn't actually change anything. Strange.

Anyways, these past couple of days here have been extremely helpful already.

Anxiety, and I think especially OCD- are some of the most least rational things ever, this side of being just plain out of touch with reality at all.

OCD especially can be so extremely irrational and illogical.

That's interesting about summer- I couldn't imagine what about summer would make you anxious- but storms. I'm sure that's a not infrequent fear among people? I live in a tornado hotspot- and the primary season is fixin' to ramp up and reach its peak in April. I intentionally not dwell on the thought of tornadoes. Little random whirligigs of death that like to sneak up on you during the night. Give me a hurricane, any day, compared to a tornado outbreak.


But past the storms, the ISP fears re:heat. It can get pretty wicked hot where I live, and if stuff keeps working here... I've never even thought about the possibility of it not working, tbh.

That reminds me of the canes- you're anxious because it affects your independence, maybe? To an extent we all must get concerned about things that we rely on- that seems only Human. But for some of us, it turns into an obsession and gets out of hand, with no basis in fact- such as your utilities/infrastructure being in fact, fairly robust.

Snaga wrote:Anxiety, and I think especially OCD- are some of the most least rational things ever, this side of being just plain out of touch with reality at all.

OCD especially can be so extremely irrational and illogical.

That's interesting about summer- I couldn't imagine what about summer would make you anxious- but storms. I'm sure that's a not infrequent fear among people? I live in a tornado hotspot- and the primary season is fixin' to ramp up and reach its peak in April. I intentionally not dwell on the thought of tornadoes. Little random whirligigs of death that like to sneak up on you during the night. Give me a hurricane, any day, compared to a tornado outbreak.


But past the storms, the ISP fears re:heat. It can get pretty wicked hot where I live, and if stuff keeps working here... I've never even thought about the possibility of it not working, tbh.

That reminds me of the canes- you're anxious because it affects your independence, maybe? To an extent we all must get concerned about things that we rely on- that seems only Human. But for some of us, it turns into an obsession and gets out of hand, with no basis in fact- such as your utilities/infrastructure being in fact, fairly robust.

Oh man, I hope discussing this stuff doesn't cause you new anxieties that you didn't have. I would sure hate to be the cause of that!

You're right, it's all deeply rooted in my desire to maintain independence.I spent a lot of my childhood in hospitals, doing procedures, physical therapy, and otherwise relying on people. To some extent of course it is normal for kids to rely on people. But it was a little different for me. And today, there are still some things I need to ask for help with because disability just works that way. It doesn't help that I'm stubborn. It's not even about events in life spinning out of control per se, but the lack of independence that can come with that. That's exactly it. I don't have a frame of reference for another path in life, but I think if I had, or felt that I had, the "default" amount of control, maybe this wouldn't be such an issue. But when you grow up less independent than you know all of your peers are... you cling tightly to the independence you do gain. And the fear of losing that can spiral. I think you're on to something that that is a big driver here.

It seemed to lead in that direction....

I think you'll have to often remind yourself of things such as it's in the ISP's best interests, to not go down. That as long as you have 'A' spare cane, you have canes a-plenty. That you will not lose your independence so easily.

Don't forget also, worst case scenario with the internet, there's always tethering....

Snaga wrote:I think you'll have to often remind yourself of things such as it's in the ISP's best interests, to not go down. That as long as you have 'A' spare cane, you have canes a-plenty. That you will not lose your independence so easily.

Don't forget also, worst case scenario with the internet, there's always tethering....

I think you're right. It's been helpful to discuss this. In the past I would just shove it down, but that only works for so long.