Fear of illegal internet content

Hello,
I’m a former Rogers patient with severe POCD an depression. I have been relapsing over fear of times when I’ve looked at porn on Pornhub or Freeones. Last night on freeones I clicked something accidentally that brought me to a video that said “teen” before the models name. I didn’t click on it but tried to figure out how it happened and then checked the website disclaimer to make sure everyone was over 18 but the word teen had me freaked out as does the stuff in the news about pornhub removing videos from unverified users worried maybe someone wasn’t 18 and how would I know and maybe I did view something illegal. I’m so worried I’ve done something illegal. I even have been texting friends in law enforcement to make sure I didn’t do something illegal. I just feel gross and guilty and am terrified of being a criminal. Has anyone experienced something similar?
-Ian

I forgot to mention I then started searching google/yahoo with terms like “internet porn illegal” and am freaked out because google search gave some warning how CP is illegal and am scared they think I was looking for illegal content when really I was trying to find the legality of internet porn.

If I came across dodgy content, I'd either report to the hosting provider (if it's user-submitted content), or take it to the next level and put in an anonymous tip to the law or some other entity, if it's a whole site that appears dodgy. Then I'd stay away, and I wouldn't worry about it. You can't allow yourself to obsess over that kind of thing- if it looks dodgy, or flatly states that the person in the porn is definitely x years old, then report it, steer a wide berth, and let it go. If not- then don't create worry when there's no reason for it.

Unless something to your eyes, looks as if it could be illegal, I'm not going to over think whether that person is below 18, or not, if it's a... 'reputable' seems too nice a word, for porn, let's say a heavily trafficked website that has the requisite disclaimer, then it's in their own self-interest to police themselves.

ISWOCD wrote:I forgot to mention I then started searching google/yahoo with terms like “internet porn illegal” and am freaked out because google search gave some warning how CP is illegal and am scared they think I was looking for illegal content when really I was trying to find the legality of internet porn.

I wouldn't let myself worry about that. I'm sure it takes more than just a search term, to get someone's attention. I mean at any time, there's probably hundreds of people running similar search terms. That's not the same as actively hunting out illegal content.

Thanks for that...I’d be happy to hear others reply...it just has sick because of the word teen when that’s not what I was even looking for/at and now feel like I’ve done something illegal and will be locked away for CP or something else.

This sounds like catastophizing (I do it too because of my OCD, it sucks.)

Accidentally coming across something or googling it to make sure you didn't isn't something you'd be arrested for. Fear of going to prison does seem to be a pretty common thing among people with harm obsessions like POCD, so I definitely don't think you're alone.

**Trigger warning**

I've had some similar things, where I would find some hentai picture and then get scared the character was underage (even though I never looked at any that appeared to be) and I'd have to go check. Once I accidentally came across a drawing of two underage characters, and even though I found it quite gross and disturbing that someone would draw that and immediately stopped looking at it, I still felt guilty and was scared someone would arrest me or something. I don't know if it helps to hear other people's stories (for me it does, because finding similarities helps me realize that I am catastrophizing), but yeah I'd say this is 100% OCD and not anything you actually did wrong.

I have.. stumbled upon questionable content, at least once- and duly reported it to the host (user-submitted content) as potential illegal content, then steered a quite wide path around that website, henceforth. I refuse to let myself worry I'm going to be in trouble for seeing something that literally anyone could stumble across- The Law ain't going to be interested in that, they're going to be interested in people that get very interested and go out seeking it.

As far as 'teen', well heck that's a selling point in porn- we are, after all, enamored of youth, as a species. Teen this, Teen that, Teen Teen Teen. Given that above board porn sites like Pornhub, expressly state all models be the age of majority for the jurisdiction they reside in, and that records be kept of such proofs in accordance with 18 U.S.C. § 2257.... then I think it's pretty well understood, that 'teen' does not equal 'illegal', and I'm sure if someone reports CP on their site, to cover their ass, Pornhub and the like, are gonna get it off their site, at a minimum, if not calling The Law on them, themselves. So... seriously unless it's some really dodgy corner of the internet, I can't possibly see that word being a problem. Stay out of dodgy corners of the internet.