Possible POCD

Hi, I have OCD since I was 10.

When I was 22, One Day I met a Girl that was 14 and sometimes I had intrusive thoughts and urges and feelings about having sex with her. It felt bad but to get rid of these thoughts I though for a about 2 seconds about having sex with her to make the feeling go away, but sometimes it came back even during sex with other adult girl, so I did it again, I thought for few seconds that I have sex with her to make it go away and it went away but the feeling that this was wrong stayed. Later when she was close to 15 her body was more developed and I started to notice her butt and curved more and I found it this attractive. Is this pedophilia?

I think many people confuse natural attraction for youth and beauty (in evolutionary terms, glomming onto fertility), to be a paraphilia. It's one thing to find a charming young girl attractive. But it is a stretch don't you think, to think that automatically leads to having a paraphilia that is fixated on underage.


I think with ocd we often confuse mere capacity (ie a young girl is pretty) with the thing we would fear being (someone unduly attracted to young girls). I have done that with my harm ocd. Having a harmful thought, having the capacity to hurt or kill, doesn't mean I'm going to! I try not to let my fear b make me think I'm something I'm not.