My brain hurts from these thoughts (HELP)

Hi everyone,

I am a 21-year-old guy and have a bad case of intrusive thoughts and religious obsessions (not very strong though).

For a while now I have been having strange, recurring thoughts related to consuming and how that consuming can affect people around the world. it's particularly focussed around things I like. It started with some conspiracy theories about COVID 19 and how it is intentionally done to establish control on people and force vaccinations on people (I REGRET EVEN BOTHERING TO LISTEN TO SUCH STUFF BUT ITS WIDESPREAD ON THE NET ITS HARD TO AVOID)

An example due to COVID 19 is Bill Gates and conspiracy theories about him killing people through some cases of bad vaccines with the fortune he has. This is the worst cuz I like windows especially for PC gaming and my brain starts harassing me with thoughts about if I buy Microsoft stuff or anything with Windows I am somehow giving Gates the money to carry out these things (considering if they are true which is not really proven unless you are a truther and like connecting dots of information).

Another example is of Sony (huge Playstation guy here), basically, Sony supply image sensors to a Chinese security company whose cameras are being used to keep on an ethnic minority in China and if they want they can throw these people away into education camps where they are re educated, tortured and sometimes even killed from excessive torturing. Thats just one place, obviously their cameras are used in a range of places but it bothers me a bit. My brain again tells me that if I buy Sony products I am giving these guys money to oppress or worse kill people. And it sounds kinda logical

But I felt kinda guilty about the fact I am not concerned by this stuff at an emotional level like others (neither do I desire to). And the same thing is over here. I am way too biased to think otherwise. I apologize if I sound too self-centered but gaming means a lot to me for personal reasons. Apart from that, I try to be a decent person where I can. Any responses would be heavily appreciated cuz I am going NUTS.

Hey znadee98, I'm sorry you haven't gotten any responses yet. How are you feeling now?

I won't say "don't listen to conspiracy theories", its one of my guilty pleasures to read about them but realize that not everything you read about it is true. Its admirable that you feel the need to boycott products to prevent someone's suffering. I do that as well when I find out a company is being abusive to its workers. But go easy on yourself, there's only so much we can do. There are people who are far more responsible to stopping this sort of behavior in positions of power that have failed to do so. They need to be feeling this way.

If you want to boycott a product, try with a reasonable effort to do so. If you feel like there's a net negative effect on the world, maybe doing some charitable work or raising awareness will help you feel better.