POCD Thoughts Destroying Me, Make It Stop!!!

I'm really struggling to cope at the moment.

On top of this, I am experiencing an increase in the number of paedophilia related thoughts (pocd).

On one level I honestly just want to get lobotomized or commit suicide to make this go away.

I hate having such a nasty horrid broken brain. Honestly it is not normal to be getting these disgusting twisted thoughts and I do not want them. I am not a paedophile, I have never sexually assaulted a child or looked at child porn. I do not want these thoughts but they keep coming into my head and I just hate it so much.

My TOCD is still there ticking away but my POCD is much worse right now and it is horrible.

Also because of lockdown I am home a lot more and sometimes when I look out my window, I can see a child and it triggers the thoughts and I hate it.

I just want this to stop.

I can relate with the pain. One thing you have to remember is that it's possible to feel ALOT better! trust me i know. I got POCD. I have done ERP alone for 1-2 months and the anxiety has decreased alot!.

Have you heard of ERP?

Here is a couple of videos of OCD expert:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MBcKI1 ... ex=12&t=0s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_V2mOd ... c&index=12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGyW1Rp ... c&index=13

Rambo wrote:I can relate with the pain. One thing you have to remember is that it's possible to feel ALOT better! trust me i know. I got POCD. I have done ERP alone for 1-2 months and the anxiety has decreased alot!.

Have you heard of ERP?

Here is a couple of videos of OCD expert:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MBcKI1 ... ex=12&t=0s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_V2mOd ... c&index=12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGyW1Rp ... c&index=13

Thanks yeah, I have tried ERP a few times, both alone and with therapists.

I think I need more with a therapist as when I try alone it doesn't go well and I become even more obsessed, that happened even with one therapist but she wasn't very good.

My current therapist is on maternity leave so I have no sessions at the moment.