OCD - Obessive Questioning

Hello all,
I hope you don't mind me posting this here. My Therapist questioned if I had ever been screened for OCD, I am starting to think I have it as well.

I am feeling guilty, I obsessively question my parent's motives in the past. Most of my life I have has a worry or anxiety of some sorts. Recently I have been questioning why my Mum and Dad did certain things when I was younger. The obsessive nature of the questions now leads to verbal rows with my Mum and Dad. I never really realise how often I bring things up until it's too late and things have ended in a row.

I feel trapped, guilty and a burden. Mum Said I was bordering on abusive. I try not to shout but me questioning her a lot she sees as provoking.

I often want to end things, and stupidly told my mum I wanted to die. I feel like such a POS.

A screening might prove illuminating. Contrary to the pop culture image of OCD, it's not all about counting, or being neat (I'm most definitely not a neat person).

DoDecaDon wrote:I often want to end things, and stupidly told my mum I wanted to die. I feel like such a POS.

A common sentiment in this forum. When my anxieties get really bad, I have suicide ideation. I don't worry too much about expressions of that, in this forum, because it's so common with OCD, it seems. I mean, I don't really want to die- I'd have done it, if so. But I think we just want to run away from our minds. Sometimes it's in my head so much, that to me now it's mostly just mental white noise, I sort of tune it out, and rarely take my own thoughts of suicide seriously. I think about what could actually come down upon my head, that would make me really, really do it... and then I get scared at the thought of having to. So, obviously, I don't really want that. I just think that suicidal thoughts (but not actually being suicidal) seems to be quite common in us.