POCD, traumatized

Hello,
I am a 19 year old girl and my family has an history of OCD. I have inherited of a form of OCD known as POCD. "Pedophilia OCD, or POCD, is a subset of OCD in which a sufferer has unwanted harmful or sexual thoughts about children. This subtype often results in panic, anguish, shame and depression. People living with POCD have no desire to harm a child, yet they’re tormented by thoughts of doing so."

Because my family can understand my struggle, even tho they never had that type of OCD, I have talk to them about it and they have help me get through my darkest times. The reason why I have that is because I think that childhood is the most important phase of our life. Therefor, I am disgusted by paedophile and my greatest fear is becoming one.

I needed to introduce my mental health so you can really understand my distress. Recently, I have been doing better than ever. I was a bit bored with life since quarantine so I decided to go watch some good old normal (not child) porn. As I was scrolling down I think I saw a child pornography ad. I say, " I think " because I have began to doubt myself since I could find any other person on forums that have seen the same thing on pornsites and that reported it. Also, as soon as I saw the ad, I closed my tab, it was so fast that maybe my eyes tricked me because I was scared of seeing such a thing. But I can’t help but think that it was real and since then I can’t stop crying. I feel an enormous amount of guilt for whatever reason, like I could have done something. I don’t want to tell my mother about it because, first, talking about porn with your parents is a bit embarrassing, and second, she is really sensitive too.

In short, I fear that I am traumatized because I noticed that. Giving my disorder, it was the last thing in the world that I wished to see. I wonder if I am the only one that saw that and if it is even possible. I also want to know if there is a way to recover from all of this because right now, my head is in a really dark place.