Scared It's Not POCD (trigger warning

I can't help worrying...
As I'm sure I've already mentioned in previous posts, I've often worried about actually liking the appearance of little girls' genitals, and wanting to touch them.

I mean, I've seen them before, back when you could type 'nudist family' into Google Images and get those sorts of results, but regardless...

When I picture a child's vagina in my head, it's so smooth and hairless and white and soft\squishy looking. At least, the outside is. I've always found the inside of vaginas to be gross. Heck, I'm so repulsed that I can't even insert one of those things for when you have an infection by myself.

On some level, I like the vagina I imagine in my head, but that scares me... Like, when I imagine it belonging to an adult, I feel nothing. I just hate myself so much...

I don't want to have these thoughts or fears anymore; I just want to be who I was before this obsession began...

Update: So, I went to see my therapist yesterday, and told her about this. She said the part of the anatomy I was talking about is actually the vulva (good to know). I explained that on some level, I like the vulva I pictured in my mind. When she asked me to elaborate, I told her it was soft/squishy looking, and I thought it might feel good to touch it with my fingers, like one of those slow rise squishies (if you know what those are). She said that's different than what a pedophile would think, but I still worry.
I'm ashamed that I like the image at all, and I'm scared I would be tempted to touch a little girl inappropriately if I were ever in the presence of one.
If anyone could throw their two cents in, that'd be appreciated.

You can think that little girls are just so cute you could eat them up, without being a pedophile.

I think with OCD we often confuse things that are harmless, for things that are. OCD twists and distorts and sucks the fun out of everything. Posters that have a harmless fetish, and their mind will twist it into pedophilia. Or they like the way a child looks (children tend to be cute), and they confuse it with pedophilia. I could go on with more examples, but the point is, that I think with OCD we make some pretty extreme logical leaps and jump from 'This mere thought' to 'Well if I thought that at all I must be ____'

When it just ain't so. If I were my intrusive, sometimes fleeting thoughts, I'd be a murderous pedophiliac psychopath. I'm not. Normies blow off unpleasant, oddball, or perverted thoughts as mental garbage, and they go about their day thinking no more of it. Remember that- normals get the same thoughts we do. They just don't obsess over them- they go, oh, what a silly thought! and think no more of it. But not us- we punish ourselves day in, day out, over thoughts- not actions, not things we've done or want to do- just thoughts. OCD will take a thought and use it to beat you over the head until you don't know up from down.