I’m 17 years old and I have Pocd (I’m praying)

I’m really searching for help when it comes to Pocd, I’m very scared that I may actually be a pedophile and am just in hardcore denial. If I’m honest if I do end up being a pedophile, I will kill myself so no children are hurt, I see no positive aspects or any potential for good with an arousal towards children.
At the moment I’m desperately trying to reassure myself that I’m not but my anxiety isn’t being gentle tonight. I didn’t grow up with this, I developed this a little under a year ago, a few months after my ex girlfriend had told me that she was r^ped as a child. She told me the entire story, I didn’t think about it afterwards besides when I felt upset about it. I started getting mental images of what happened shortly after she broke up with me. Shortly after that I started getting thoughts and phrases like “that’s hot” or “I’d do it”, I started to have panic attacks and I would be afraid. Sometimes I still get spikes of this $#%^ and it scares me. Do I have Pocd or am I attracted to kids. I’m just so damn scared.