Still Suffering Because The World Blows (POCD, I hope)

I think it's a very reasonable statement from them, yes.

She believes that I've been conditioning myself to have a positive response to the idea of abusing children, what with the way I look at Google images and make myself think about the act. Does that sound possible?

Well at the least, don't you think you'll get used to it?

That's why sexual checking just drives me up the wall. I just want to plead Don't Check! Especially while masturbating. If Pavlov's dog can drool to a bell, maybe a person could condition themselves to cum to certain thoughts? Note, I don't think that a person can so easily change into a pedo, because thoughts are not actions. But as people with OCD, I think we continually confuse thoughts for actions. As far as I'm concerned, all checking and ruminating does is make it harder on a person with OCD. And proves nothing, one way or the other.

I know we are driven to check, mind you. When I overly check stuff, it drives others mad. I get a similar feeling when people talk here of checking and testing their sexuality. It's like playing with matches and gasoline.

It does make a certain amount of sense. I'm ashamed to admit I just did my compulsions, and once again got that feeling like I may have mentally enjoyed it, so I feel horrible and guilty now.

It's so bad right now, I feel awful. There's so much guilt and shame in my heart even though I haven't done anything...

Because you want to equate thoughts with actions, my guess? If we think it, we must be it....

In the case of OCD intrusive thoughts, no, not really.

I kept getting flashes (if that makes sense) of stuff like kids' legs and bodies, and... I feel like a monster..

Gonna have to ignore it. I know that's not easy.

I guess...