Transsexual Thoughts Are Ruining My Life!

I can’t handle what is going on in my head.

I have been trying to sleep for hours.

My thoughts are terrifying me

When I lie down I just feel alert and can’t sleep

My head has been giving me really disturbing thoughts

I have an awareness of the penis area

I had a thought that I should have a vagina so that me and my mum can finger each other.

This is ######6 disgusting, I can’t handle this

I also had a thought to go into the kitchen and chop my dick off

I have an issue with some of my t shirts as I have lost some weight recently so lots of my t shirts are really baggy and around the neck, some show my chest and I don’t like it.

Yesterday I shaved some hair on the top of my chest as I didn’t like the way it looked with the t shirt being baggy and low but I don’t know if I’m really just doing it because I am a transsexual with dysphoria

Even with my too bit shaved, I don’t like these t shirts and I might go and get some new t shirts this week.

I can’t handle what goes on in my head

I am scared I am a transsexual with gender dysphoria.

Oh I also get POCD and incestuous thoughts and this is hellish and horrible to live with

I can’t take all this #######4 that goes on in my head

I want to stay as a man.

Please make this hellish nightmare stop.

I can’t take this #######4 anymore.

I just want my head to stop sprouting out all this $#%^ at me.

I am scared cos obviously thoughts are our reality and it terrifies me as I don’t want to be a transsexual.

Please please make this stop.

I support trans people living as their true selves and I have trans friends

I just want these thoughts to stop

I can’t take this.

Oh also in the past I had thoughts saying I should have a baby with my sister because I’m gay and she’s a lesbian. It just makes no sense but it came into my head several times.

I’m scared it’s not ocd and just true transsexualism and gender dysphoria


I can’t take this

Please please please make it stop

Whew well it sounds like a whole lot of intrusive thoughts, to me. I'm sorry it's hitting you really hard at the moment.

Speaking as someone who is like, close enough to the trans fence, to see the grass on that side? And sometimes wish I were standing on the other side of the fence? The fact remains, that the current situation in society, is gasoline on the OCD fire. When a segment of folks keep trying to hammer into young folks that gender is a mere construct, what is going to happen? A lot of confused young people. And if you have OCD tendencies, God help you.

Just remember.. girls can be tomboys, guys can be, hate to use the word, 'sissy', but less than, 'All Boy', okay? I'm on the sissy side of male, I don't make no bones about it.

But OCD will make you examine every. single. thing. you. do. and make you think that that anything is all black, or all white, with no inbetween. We're analogue creatures. There is no set list of things that define a person as male or female in their sense of gender. There's no definitive list of how you're supposed to think, act, or behave. There's no ideal, that you must live up to, to be a guy. OCD will make you think there is. Well, no, there isn't. You want to be a guy, you were born male, so remember that, that's what you are, not only by biology, but by choice. Trust me, if you wanted to be trans, you'd know it- I've always had a fascination with the idea, like a moth to a flame. I've never been tortured by the concept of it, as what I see in this forum. I don't think you're trans.

Snaga wrote:Whew well it sounds like a whole lot of intrusive thoughts, to me. I'm sorry it's hitting you really hard at the moment.

Speaking as someone who is like, close enough to the trans fence, to see the grass on that side? And sometimes wish I were standing on the other side of the fence? The fact remains, that the current situation in society, is gasoline on the OCD fire. When a segment of folks keep trying to hammer into young folks that gender is a mere construct, what is going to happen? A lot of confused young people. And if you have OCD tendencies, God help you.

Just remember.. girls can be tomboys, guys can be, hate to use the word, 'sissy', but less than, 'All Boy', okay? I'm on the sissy side of male, I don't make no bones about it.

But OCD will make you examine every. single. thing. you. do. and make you think that that anything is all black, or all white, with no inbetween. We're analogue creatures. There is no set list of things that define a person as male or female in their sense of gender. There's no definitive list of how you're supposed to think, act, or behave. There's no ideal, that you must live up to, to be a guy. OCD will make you think there is. Well, no, there isn't. You want to be a guy, you were born male, so remember that, that's what you are, not only by biology, but by choice. Trust me, if you wanted to be trans, you'd know it- I've always had a fascination with the idea, like a moth to a flame. I've never been tortured by the concept of it, as what I see in this forum. I don't think you're trans.

Thank you, I appreciate it

The thing that really irks me at the moment is I have a sensation of awareness of my penis and I am scared it is genital dysphoria

I hope it isn't but I do get lots of penis harm thoughts and they terrify me but I have a fear that they are truly my secret desire.

Anyway, I can see that I am buying into the thoughts and sensations now.

I will try and allow these thoughts and sensations to be there and get on with my life.

It is just so tough.

Luckily I am on a waiting list for OCD therapy.

Oh, capital, I'm glad to hear you're on the list for some OCD centered therapy! I think that'll help a lot.

The transgenders I've known thru PF, are desperate to transition- the idea of not doing so, is what makes them feel so hopeless- the opposite of pwTOCD, it seems to me. I'm sometimes... borderline sad, that I'm not the other sex.

And there's a difference between not wanting to be something, and what OCD does to you. I never wanted to be Bi, but it's not some dreadful fate that death is preferable to. In fact, I would see having that part cut out of me, as being at least, if not more, dreadful, than being what I am, even though I don't care to be. Because.. it's Me. I would be losing part of what makes me, me. And that part naturally wants self-preservation. I can't stand to think of being any other way, because I'm not.