How has your love/social life been with pure OCD

Mine has suffered. I’ve become pretty isolated. Though I’m high functioning I.e able work, good job, good pay, own my home, raising kids etc... the last 6-7 years have been difficult to cultivate any meaningful relationships either social or romantic. Aside from the sexual intrusive thoughts I also have intrusive thoughts about almost anything and everything that could possibly go wrong. It’s pretty ridiculous really. I can overthink, worry and see the worst scenario happen in about everything which leaves me feeling better just being alone. Even though I hate being alone. It’s quite the dilema. I have no real “friends” no social life aside from my family (which isn’t a bad thing) and no love interests. The ones I have had I’ve pushed away... I don’t know anymore I’m just rambling now lol..

My social life has been destroyed by my OCD. My OCD has made me into a judgmental perfectionist. It has prevented me from making friends with anyone who is less than perfect. Yes, many people have called me judgmental and a Ken doll because I am obsessed with my looks.

The lack of understanding from most people is what prevents me from having any friends. No, I don't want to be judgmental or a perfectionist, it is the OCD that forces me to be this way. I don't choose to be this way, it is a mental illness that has stuck around for most of my life.

Love life was largely nonexistent- I wouldn't place all the blame on OCD, though I'm sure that's part of it.

In a relationship- well, intrusive thoughts do manage to poison the well, from time to time. By which I mean I can't enjoy life as I should. Harm thoughts, health thoughts, relationship obsessions, sexual obsessions, can all conspire to make me.. rather more miserable on the inside, than the other half knows. And yes, they have to deal with me being me, so I'm sure it affects them, as well. Yay OCD.....

I feel dead and the wish of dying. I just want to live for my parents. I don't want them to ever be the type to make a horrible creature that has one big gross attraction type, I have extreme love for my parents. I love them with all my heart. My goal is to make them proud whether they're alive or dead. To be a monster is the worst thing I could wish. I want to be a functioning good guy, not a disgusting filthy creature. Please help, I need help as fast as possible. I'm not okay. I want it all to be a dream. I don't know whats what. I don't know the difference between POCD and pedophilia. I don't think I'm pocd. Just hearing this one *mod edit* post about some guy with pocd being contacted by an actual pedophile who thought he had pocd made me into such a bad state.