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by jbell777 » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:10 pm
What’s up everyone so yesterday was a good day for the most part, I found two girls that I really like talking to but last night I was on the friend with one and my buddy started joking with me well his went across my face and it’s like I wanted to kiss the dude I didn’t know how to react just got sad so I got home watched gay porn surprise didn’t turn me on went to lesbo surprise turned on but the image of a dude made me finish this time and it wasn’t my friend. And another thing that sucks it’s like my emotions ain’t happy with the girls but yet I am, and it’s like my emotions could make me happy being gay I’ve read post where people had this do y’all think it’s cause I’ve obsessed so long and every time I watched gay porn I would tell myself I want it even tho I didn’t too where I’ve caused faked emotions makin myself or emotions think I wanna be gay idk anymore I’m just depressed and when the dude was in my head as I finished the way I feel isn’t guilty it’s more just sad so idk
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jbell777
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by hocdsufferer » Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:51 pm
I'm at the point where it doesn't only feel real, but I am convinced it is real. It seems impossible to me that I would have such feelings if I was straight.
I just try to ignore it as much time as I can and try to live my life through in denial. Probably not a good long-term plan, but considering there is nothing else I can do and I can't or don't want to accept being anything other than straight, it's the only thing. But you probably have HOCD, while I'm gay.
Sorry you're going through this.
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by Mistakenman » Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:26 pm
I know the feeling, it feels all too real, and it’s scary. Sometimes I cry because I get worked up about my sexuality (or ocd) I’m lead to believe I had ocd as a kid (hypochondria) (I looked up stuff to make sure I wasn’t dying) (or was convinced something was living in me)
But again, I fear many things, like I don’t really love my girlfriend or that I’ve been gay this entire time. These thoughts scare me so much.
-- Mon Sep 10, 2018 10:27 am --
I know the feeling, it feels all too real, and it’s scary. Sometimes I cry because I get worked up about my sexuality (or ocd) I’m lead to believe I had ocd as a kid (hypochondria) (I looked up stuff to make sure I wasn’t dying) (or was convinced something was living in me)
But again, I fear many things, like I don’t really love my girlfriend or that I’ve been gay this entire time. These thoughts scare me so much.
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by jbell777 » Tue Sep 11, 2018 3:47 am
It’s terrible and miserable I was so happy today for a little bit because I was so happy I found a girl I like ot but then I’m doing a job and I see this good looking guy and I’m saying these things in my head it’s liek wtf I’m gay, and then I’m like no but then I got mad bout something at work and it made these gay feelings or emotions real I know I’ve had ocd all my life but this one idk if it anymore or if it ever was now two hrs later it’s liek my emotions saying you just like her as a friend, I mean idk anymore it’s gotten to the point I can’t have sex with girls anymore bc it’s makes me think if I touch a girl anywhere I find it gross like how wtf, lesbian porn turns me on guys nowhere close, if I have a sexual thought in my head when I’m calm and it’s a girl I get erected but a dude nothing but Idk anymore man cause these emotions
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jbell777
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by jbell777 » Sat Sep 15, 2018 7:16 am
Hey guys and everyone I just wanted to share what happened tonight! I went on the date with that girl and guys I ain’t gay y’all arent either, I enjoyed every minute with her the way we looked at each other laughed smiled it was just right beyond just right stay away from porn masturbation y’all can beat this after tonight I know it’s idc I still have butterflies we didn’t have too kiss or me get erected I just knew she what I want girls are always what I wanted it’ll get better thanks too everyone who’s helped me on here and good luck too everyone else I’m gonna try my best from coming in here God Bless
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jbell777
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