Did it again because I’m a monster.

So when I search for content to masturbate to my main preference is to search for sex scenes from movies. I was searching for an actress on PornHub and the scene I found wasn’t doing it for me so I went looking through the other suggested videos and saw a thumbnail and link to a scene from a movie with a teenage actress. I didn’t click on the scene and quickly scrolled away, but I started feeling uneasy. Then I started obsessing about it and I checked two other websites and they had the scene in question as well. Then I went to a subreddit dedicated to the actress and in an album of pictures they had a mixture of NSFW pictures and just regular pics from when she modeled as a 12 year old mixed in. Now I really feel like a sick monster and I deserve to be put down for it. How can I possibly go on living everyday knowing I’ve seen that? I deserve to be put down like a monster.

Seen what? Was anything illegal, have you harmed anyone?

I’m sorry I always seem to be arguing with you Snaga it just hits me internally and affects my moral code. I just want to be able to go to a supposed safe website and look at things that don’t destroy me internally. I just don’t understand how these websites allow the sex scenes even when their under 18. It destroys me because I keep doing it over and over again. It’s my own fault. I’m always just waiting for the day I’m outcasted and everyone close to me finds out and they hate me for it. It’s like an internal tone bomb.