Bad thoughts *tw*

Hello,
I have OCD that at the moment rotates are bestiality due to some past mistakes I did as an early teenager. I’ve been having intusive thoughts that drive me into panic as well as some urges.
To go more into debt, I fear I will hurt my dog and get arrested and ruin my whole future. Yet these sexual thoughts no matter how much I want them to. As well as an urge to touch my dog’s butthole. I did once give in to this urge and placed the probed my dogs butthole (I didn’t stick my finger in just barely provbed it) and immediately panicked and kicked her off my lap.
I’ve talked about the thing I did as a child to a therapist and I’ve told my mom about that and my thoughts and she hasn’t said much about them.
I guess my biggist fear is being a monster that like likes animals. I’ve never thought about animals this way nor have I had theses urges so I’m not sure how to deal.
Please I need some advice on how to go on. I’m losing hope about it getting better...

Kids do some weird $#%^. Sometimes with pets. Touch things, get then to lick things, etc. You're not the first, won't be the last. This is a big deal, only to you. Please remember intrusive thoughts, are only thoughts. I've had intrusive, frightening, thoughts for decades. Not once has an intrusive thought ever forced me to do something against my will. These are thoughts, nothing more... With OCD we place far too much importance on thoughts.