TOCD or actual autogynephilia??

Hey, 23 y/o, sorry for my English, not my first language.
Long story short - I'm bisexual and cool with it since ever. When I was 16-17 I've had my first OCD experience, which was an HOCD (in my case - a fear that I'm exclusively gay or straight, losing sense of self). That one has evolved and eventually turned to TOCD then POCD and back to H...
I started taking meds and speaking to a therapist, I can say that it was barely there for the last 2 years. I finally felt alive again, and felt myself again. So in time I decided to stop taking meds(asked the psychiatrist of course and didn't do it at once). Almost a year now without it and it came back. I'm like a month into it and it already went through the whole evolution again(H to P to T).

The last spike was me masturbating to some porn(probably to prove myself I'm alright), and eventually I kinda forced myself to try hard to imagine what's it like to enjoy sex with a woman's genitalia, because the trans fears came up to my mind and I felt like I needed to prove myself wrong... I have a gf for 2 yrs now and well the female orgasms look so clearly intense. So I really got focused into the image of what it's like to be penetrated by another male/scissoring with a female while keeping on masturbating and suddenly actually "FELT IT". The arousal kept on and I was able to keep masturbating with that ""fantasy"", probably to climax. I'm completely terrified. Is that an actual case of an autogynephilia or just me being very good at imagination? Maybe it's just the fact that I already know the female anatomy so well and I know how my gf(for example) will react about any way I'll touch her so I could easily imagine those feelings on myself? But then I think to myself: "That ability indeed helps you - to feel like a woman, which maybe you WANT to be?" I'm losing it!
I've never had any urge to fantasize myself as a woman in a sexual context, or any context. I am not a super masculine guy though... I was bullied a lot as a preteen-teen and people made me feel like I'm not "man enough". Maybe that's it? Maybe it's not just the OCD? What if that whole period of "feeling myself again" was just a huge denial?

please help me, please. I feel lost.

Hey, I’ve been dealing with tocd and a few other themes for more than a year now so i know what you mean when you say you feel lost and hopeless. I never ever wanted to feel what a woman felt during sex even if I am a gay guy, I always enjoyed sex and all that stuff but I never imagined myself as the female counterpart. The thing is since I read about a guy experiencing this I can’t stop thinking about it while actually masturbating so I know how you feel about this. In your case it’s probably just ocd latching onto something in order to make you feel worried and scared I wouldn’t pay so much attention to it. I’m not a really masculine guy either, the opposite and I always enjoyed that but I never wanted to feel like a woman but I can’t get the doubt out of my head. I hope for the best for you and if you need to talk just message me It’s not a bother at all. Best of luck!