Feeling very depressed need some help

So basically when I was 16 i am now 23 I use to fantasise about incest I’m not really sure why but it seemed to be what I was into at the time anyway after a good time masturbating to this one day in the moment I seemed to have a same sex thought which popped into my head which I assume or my head tells me I got off too. Anyway after that happen HOCD spiralled out of control I started watching gay porn to see if I was aroused which I wasn’t i thought about having sex with men and my friend which did not arouse me. Every time I would walk down the street I would be anxious looking at a man or even hearing the word gay would make me extremely anxious. Now I’m 23 and still plagued by this which I am now seeking help for I have had about 3 years where I was fine meeting girls I had one girlfriend who i loved but unfortunately it did not work out anyway everything was ok until recently my ocd got spiked and this all started coming into my head again and the why question etc anyway I guess I just need some reassurance at the moment that I’m normal I know it’s not right but I’m really struggling thinking of why I had this fantasy etc even though it’s been 7 YEARs I still can’t get over it. I’m just very scared and alone I am seeking therapy at the moment I think the nature of the fantasy as it was taboo was what aroused me and I have read that others with HOCD have had similar fantasy’s that have aroused them and they are not gay. I think about that fantasy now or any man and I don’t have the slightest bit of arousal but I just can’t seem to let it go do you think this is HOCD sorry I just needed to vent sorry for the wall of text I’m just very down. I really need some support right now It seems to be hooked on this one thing and won't let it go im so sad and alone.

How would it make you feel to accept you were gay? I thi k first of all you have to ask yourself the hard questions. 1. What is my sexual preferences when no one is watching? 2. What gives me more pleasure, having sex with men or women? 3. Are you over sexual, perhaps a sex addict? 4. Could it be bc you have a sex addiction the gender of people dont matter as long as other will give you what you need sexuality. I'm not a sex therapist and I'd suggest you speak with one. You could be bi sexual also which has its own issues. Unless you come to terms with your sexuality whatever that may be , you will not find inner peace or contentment.

Being gay is not the worse thing you could be dealing with. If you have a sex addiction this could be a struggle that could affect the rest of your life. Nip it in the bud , see a sex therapist and don't lie to them or yourself. Accept whatever you are face it and make the best of what your left with. Good luck .

i dont think you understand anything you are saying lol years ago this would of made me feel so anxious but pls dont comment on people spiking there intrusive thoughts if you dont know what your talking about

you dont know what you are talking about do you have any idea what hocd is?

HislilPrincess wrote:How would it make you feel to accept you were gay? I thi k first of all you have to ask yourself the hard questions. 1. What is my sexual preferences when no one is watching? 2. What gives me more pleasure, having sex with men or women? 3. Are you over sexual, perhaps a sex addict? 4. Could it be bc you have a sex addiction the gender of people dont matter as long as other will give you what you need sexuality. I'm not a sex therapist and I'd suggest you speak with one. You could be bi sexual also which has its own issues. Unless you come to terms with your sexuality whatever that may be , you will not find inner peace or contentment.

Being gay is not the worse thing you could be dealing with. If you have a sex addiction this could be a struggle that could affect the rest of your life. Nip it in the bud , see a sex therapist and don't lie to them or yourself. Accept whatever you are face it and make the best of what your left with. Good luck .

... whilst i don't think you're being deliberately provocative, i do have to say that it's discourteous to simply assume the OP is in denial about his sexuality when he's gone to some lengths to explain that he's not. and i do have to agree with the OP that you seem oblivious to what HOCD actually is. now, without wanting to sound too much of a hypocrite, please try to be a little more understanding in future. thank you.

Thanks man i hate people that comment on stuff like this and have no idea what they are talking about just trying to spike the sufferers anxiety. I appreciate you're post.

Well.... that would have been a reasonable post in Sexuality, but not for OCD.

Still there are some applicable things to remember. Being gay, is NOT the end of the world. Not when looking at it outside the lens of OCD. I've had to tell myself that about the possibility of murdering people (intrusive harm thoughts). Making yourself not care about what you fear, goes a long way towards pulling the fangs out of it. Not that I'm consistent at it. But when I do it, it helps a lot.