How to go about tackling HOCD

Quango1 wrote:What if my head lets my manhood down (literally)?

Then you can politely decline the offer with some genuine excuse ( or come up with something)

Also do you ever get extreme anxiety when a person of same sex has physical contact ? I have been getting that alot recently

$#%^ i dunno , its like my last hope is my arousal towards women

WHen you said that I spiked a great deal because I can remember having a lot of same-sex thoughts/fantasies as well as masturbating to gay porn. I was even wrestling with my same-sex friend once (who is now gay btw) and got an erection and pictured myself doing things to him??

Quango1 wrote:WHen you said that I spiked a great deal because I can remember having a lot of same-sex thoughts/fantasies as well as masturbating to gay porn. I was even wrestling with my same-sex friend once (who is now gay btw) and got an erection and pictured myself doing things to him??

I know I am sorry, this is something that i feel i can never get out of and be my old self again like i used to

Thoughts are coming back with a vengeance today, just trying to accept the thoughts and that I might be gay in order to stifle them

Heck at my job I went to the taco truck because there was a public event and I stopped by to get some chow. Anyways, there were a couple of guys that caused me to spike and made me question my orientation. Once I got my food I went to the office, but the 10 minutes I waited gave me time to obsess.

mc1 wrote:

Quango1 wrote:

mc1 wrote:Hello, I'm a 31 year old male and have suffered HOCD for 12 years (2006). It is one of the worst obsessions because you can't quantify or measure sexual orientation. Therefore, we check members of the same sex to see if we're attracted to them and freak out when we see an attractive male.

My initial advice is to see a therapist if you can. It's best if you see one that specializes in OCD as they can perform CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) that specifically deals with OCD. If you cannot see a therapist, you can purchase self-help books about HOCD. Oftentimes these books will provide mental exercises to help you cope with your obsessions.

In 12 years I have experienced highs and lows. Ultimately, this is not a sexual orientation issue but a mental issue. I know that's hard to believe and I have a hard time believing it myself sometimes. However, no matter how many times we "come out" there is a swift sense of doubt that we're gay. These are irrational thoughts.

Hello mc1, 12 years?! Wow has it really affected your ability to get a relationship with a girl? I know mine has...it takes me a while to even convince myself that I find a girl attractive and then within a day or so I get obsessed and then my head says I don't like . her anymore. I've tried doing tips just like let it fade or just accept it, but the anxiety is pretty overwhelming

It has affected my ability. No real relationship in my life, though I also attribute that to insecurity and trust issues long with HOCD. The problem with HOCD is I doubt I'm attracted to women but will find a woman attractive but then doubt it. Still before HOCD, if I found a woman hot I wouldn't approach her because I believed I wasn't good enough.

My HOCD came from January. I keep having urges about guys for no reason. I dont want to be gay myself at all; However three months later this anxiety was severe that both HOCD and TOCD dominated my life in certain branches. So the issue is that in the hands of h/tocd my testosterone levels decreased and from these two issues I now feel like I have gender dysphoria and a this point I takled HOCD and TOCD the wrong way which makes me stuck of a desire to be a girl via gayness and again I dont want to be gay at all or even a girl because now I even feel like HOCD TOCD and its cousin i.e gender dysphoria actually is making things worst because mind you I had to go to a EEG test (BTW im 19 years old in college and these three things are crippling my life as we speak) because at first when I went around the EEG specialist when he finished these trans urges came about and I smiled for no reason at all; just these trans urges okay. A hour later when I looked at a a cute nurse at (BTW again my mom works at the hospital) but where sh worked at we ate at their lounge and I saw a co worker who looks cute (well in my opinion) however the combination of HOCD and TOCD came mdae me deny my "masculinity of glance to women"; alternately it altered my eyes to look at a guy in a female manner because quote Im a trans yet again gay, but its BS unless stated otherwise. I am a cis male in danger of gay and transgender and I feel like Im n the middle of the plate for their meal to fully bury me alive. Its like a requirement to keep everything especially outside of sexuality and gender to keep everything intact and yes with the thought of being "trans" I accepted however i feel like gay and transgender wants more like it wants the whole of my body and unfortunately if left untreated Id end up trans-woman I tried asking my mother and brother for help but they deny it because they dont know how these thoughts can cripple hard if these keep deteriorate but they think that its a myth however I might have to find alternate ways to keep everything toghether

It's making me really question everything...a month ago I was fine, loving life talking to afew girls. Now I'm fixated on one, hoping that I like her when all the time my head is just saying nope

Quango1 wrote:What if my head lets my manhood down (literally)?

You desire to keep it and that's the reason why your head won't let it down.As you know,you have HOCD.
I have a friend who is a complete girl physically,but she(Or i'd rather say he) says he is attracted to girls.He used to overthink about it and he would sometimes worry what if he isn't a lesbian.Now though,he has decided to go under knife and become a complete boy.He has a girlfriend whom he has decided to marry later on.

Desire to keep what?

Ok my manhood did let me down, but not in that way. I got an erection and everything, but it just wouldn't go in?! It happened the last time I tried and again this time...I've been referred by the doctor to a urologist because she feels I might not be properly developed???