HOCD struggles

I’ve been dealing with HOCD for more than a year. It all began when I was struggling to find a girlfriend, and as the struggles continued, I began to become addicted to porn. This porn addiction became worse and worse until eventually an intrusive thought arose: “Am I gay”? I had a panic attack and my life spiraled out of control. I lost attraction to women, and everyday became a hell. I had constant intrusive thoughts about my sexuality, I constantly obsessed over them and I kept temporarily reassuring myself by telling myself I was straight and that would never change. Well, I eventually learned that reassuring does not work with OCD, so I began to accept the thoughts as having no meaning. I’m a hypochondriac, I have anxiety disorder, I have panic disorder, I’ve had depression, I’ve just been a big ball of anxiety. Well, as I began to accept the thoughts, everything slightly improved; the intrusive thoughts diminished, and I felt better inside. However, I attempted to finally tell my mind I was really straight. However, my mind shot back saying “what if you’re not” and now I’m back to full fledged anxiety filled HOCD, because I have a fear that I don’t really know my sexuality and that it has yet to reveal itself. I dont have any bisexual or gay feelings, but my brain keeps questioning even though I feel straight. This has given me suicidal thoughts, I can’t stand it. I need help! I want to be able to tell myself I’m 100% straight without question!