The worst crush I've had so far (ROCD)

Hey all,

I'm feeling really desperate right now, or else I wouldn't be starting this topic.

I've been in a relationship with someone for 7 years now. It hasn't always been perfect and I know there are still a lot of issues that need to be solved, but I've felt very happy for all of these years and I've always known that I want my future to be with this person.
I've had crushes many times and was never very worried too much about them because I know it's normal to feel attracted to other people even if you're in a relationship. Sometimes these crushes are distinctly of sexual nature (I worry about those the least because I know they disappear the fastest), and sometimes I have a crush on the personality as well (those last a bit longer, but still go away after a while). I always understood that you can't break up with a partner as soon as you get a new crush, because this way, no one would ever have long-term relationships, all the relationships would only be short-term. I felt very wise and confident knowing that.
However, about a month ago I met someone that made me develop the worst crush yet. There was something very special about that person, we clicked immediately, I guess something you could call "chemistry". If I wasn't in a relationship right now, I guess I would think that they were my soul mate or something (even though I don't really believe in this concept).

So when I understood I developed a crush on them, I wasn't worried at first, because I was confident it would go away like all the other crushes did. However, when I started thinking about them almost 24/7 and couldn't wait to see them again, I understood that something wasn't right. The worst thing is, I know that that person likes me as well, even though they express it very subtly, never directly, and perhaps that's what drives me insane the most. They don't know I have a boyfriend (there wasn't a suitable time to bring this up, or else I would have) and I believe that one day they actually could make a move. When I realized that, I actually started contemplating the possibility of breaking up with my boyfriend. Immediately afterwards, I became disgusted with myself and ended up in a vortex of anxiety and sadness, yet I can't stop my brain from imagening various romantic situations with that person.
I know the sensible thing to do is to stop seeing them (if possible, because the situation right now is that we still have to see each other from time to time), but even this thought is tearing me apart because they are a very interesting person and I would love to have conversations about so many things with them. I actually have social anxiety and am really bad at making new friends, so being able to talk this easily to them actually means a lot to me. I just wish me and them would stop having feelings towards each other, so we could have a simple, platonic friendship!

Every time I'm with my boyfriend, I almost want to cry because I feel like such a hypocrite. The worst thing is, I feel that he loves me as strong as he did 7 years ago and that his feelings are always constant, unlike mine. I don't know if it's a good idea, but I plan on talking to him about how I feel. I won't mention my crush, but I want to discuss the issues we are having and perhaps been sweeping under the rug for too long. I will say that I'm not sure if I'm mature enough to move in together or get married yet (we've been discussing these possibilites). I will mention that I've had a couple of crushes and ask him how he feels about it and whether he's had similar experiences. I hope all goes well.

What do you think about all of this? Do you have any advice for me?

My advice is to mention your boyfriend to your crush.

You don't have to say "Oh by the way, I have a boyfriend!" That would be awkward and feel unnatural.

You can just work it into your regular conversation.

Whenever you can make it fit, you could say "Yeah my boyfriend is like that too" or "The other day my boyfriend mentioned something. We were talking...". Just let him know you have a boyfriend. And keep mentioning your boyfriend a little bit here and there when you talk with him in the future. That not only lets him know you have a boyfriend, but reminds you too that you have a longstanding boyfriend.

7 years is a long time. Don't throw it away for potentially little or nothing.

And, if you can keep your head on straight and your heart in line, maybe this other guy can remain as a friend and you can keep talking with him since you say you enjoy that.