HOCD, back it again??

Haven’t been on this over for over 3 years, but I’m back on here.

Lately, I’ve been suffering from very low iron deficiency, which I was almost anemic. It caused me muscle pain, headaches, nausea, and extreme tiredness. But, anxiety reared it’s ugly head again when it attached to one of my female friends. I have a crush on my guy friend and I don’t know if it’s gonna work out because him and I rarely see and talk to each other. I get jealous because he hangs out with a female friend more than me, but whenever I ignore him, he tends to acknowledge when I don’t speak to him and always leaves his friends when he sees me. Anyway, whenever I think about him, my brain tries to replace it with her, which it’s so weird and I don’t feel happy about it. Now, I’m obsessing over it again and again like what does it suppose to mean? I even had a friend told me she always been attracted to men until she was realized her feelings later on for one of female friends who is bisexual, who told her that she liked her.

I never kissed a guy and never had a boyfriend, but I become shy around guys and I don’t know to flirt/communicate with ones I like. In the past, one of my old classmates who liked me and I rejected him asked me if I was gay, but he wasn’t my type. I always liked guys, even remembering my first crush in the 3rd grade. But, the question is “Is this OCD trying to play me again even if I’m physically weak”

31 year old male here, that's suffered HOCD for 12 years since age 19. I always recommend that people suffering from OCD consult a mental health expert, primarily one that specializes in treating OCD. Your problem is not a sexual orientation issue, but a mental disorder. I initially experienced irrational obsessions around age 8. I know this thing is hard to beat, but we have to remind ourselves that these thoughts are irrational.

I figured. I dealt with this when I was around 17 or 18 years old and I still feel grossed by these thoughts. I like her as a friend and my illness that I am dealing with is making mental health not sharp and in tact like it used to. It even enhanced her features of her appearance and I'm checking out other girls' physical features and I don't feel anything, but anxiety.